There once was a man who used to leave for work each morning, kissing his wife and saying, "Have a good day my rambling rose."
This went on for many months until one day he left for work and, as usual, kissed his wife saying, "Have a good day my rambling rose."
When he returned home that evening he found his wife in a furious temper. "My darling rambling rose, whatever is wrong? he asked.
"You called me a rambling rose," the irate wife replied.
"But I always call you a rambling rose," the perplexed man said.
"I know. But this morning I looked it up in a catalogue and it said, 'Rambling rose - alright up against a wall, but no good in a bed."
Subject: Doctor Office etiquette
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there and you say in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The Waiting Room erupted in laughter.