Di,our ever-so lovely
soaker landlady said she is going to jump on me tonight and play a game, before she goes out later on to play away!
You wouldn't think of on-line poker and pub skittles would you?
Now, it's not often that Di,our ever-so lovely
soaker landlady doesn't make the headlines in this blog. But today, Sharon went one better. She had a coughing fit which went on for some time. Concerned as we were, we asked if she was alright.
"Yes thanks, I just had a couple of nuts stuck in my throat."
"A couple of nuts!"
"snort with giggles"
"Nothing new there then!"
Posted by John Greenwood at Saturday, November 28, 2009
It's good to be back, after what has been a traumatic few weeks in the Merrie Monk. I won't go into any details, suffice to say it wasn't good.
Things are getting back to normal. Di, our ever-so lovely
soaker landlady got extremely pissed last Sunday (nothing new there then)! She still swore at the customers whilst playing poker!
Charlie my favourite barmaid, as you know is pregnant and is becoming increasingly nuts! Is it a hormonal thing? I have nick-named her ASBO. Zach, her boyfriend, and potential father wants a girl, ASBO wants a boy. The list of potential names that ASBO has drawn up , to me, is scary!
Posted by John Greenwood at Wednesday, November 25, 2009
'Of course I won't laugh,' said the nurse. 'I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'
'Okay then,' said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Ten minutes later, she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.
'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'
'It's swollen,' Fred replied.
She ran out of the room.
THE BLOG IS BACK!
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, November 24, 2009
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied,
'Well your Honour, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honour, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'....... I just lost it.'!!!
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, November 03, 2009