What is it with this place? 12-45 this lunchtime and every table is taken!!
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at his pubic hairs.
Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon from the nurse in the Landrover you booked for speeding last week."
Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Monday, 25 February 2013
Before I start, the pub continues to do well, and my Sunday roasts are still gorgeous!
Back to drivel. What is it with this weather? I know it's February, and it's supposed to be cold and 'orrible, but NOT this cold and 'orrible. The usually unreliable Met. Office admitted it is about 4c below average for the time of year.
My Dad is fed up, i'm fed up with him being fed up, so, come on global warming, GET ON WITH IT!, we're waiting.
Posted by John Greenwood at Monday, February 25, 2013
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
"Ya now sumptin' womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station...
Bell 1 rings - we put on de jacket.
Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings - we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.
"From now on womon, When I say, 'Bell one' I wan t you to strip naked.
When I say, ' Bell two' you jump on de bed.
When I say, ' Bell three' we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."
The next night, he came home and shouted, "Bell One" and the wife stripped naked!
"Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!
After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four"
"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.
She shouted back,
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MAAN, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE!!"
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Monday, 18 February 2013
Friday, 15 February 2013
Today was a prime example of the vagaries of the pub trade. No tables booked for food at lunchtime. Fast-forward to 12-55pm. No tables free for food, and people waiting or going elsewhere.
I did manage to get my order in for homemade steak and mushroom pie with creamed potatoes and peas. Gorgeous!!
Posted by John Greenwood at Friday, February 15, 2013
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
An older gentleman had an appointment to
see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'The room erupted in applause!
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
Saturday, 9 February 2013
Friday, 8 February 2013
According to Paul, this week has been the first for a long time that EVERY lunchtime has been really busy with food. I contributed with a beautiful gammon steak, pineapple, chips, peas, mushroom and tomato.
The evenings have been quiet, after the usual 5-00 'till 7-30 mob leave, although tonight the 'shoot' dinner are in.
Things look pretty good.
Posted by John Greenwood at Friday, February 08, 2013
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
Some time ago I showed you a painting of two birds(feathered) that I did when I was 17.
An old friend called in the pub last Saturday. I hadn't seen him for 11 years, so we had a good natter,and he mentioned a mural of a record cover that I had painted on my bedroom wall. I remembered it vividly, but didn't have a photo. I was 18/19 at the time.
A couple of days ago he sent me a photo of the mural.
The album is by a German band called ELOY.
The album cover is bottom right to give it some scale.
Posted by John Greenwood at Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.
The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.
Posted by John Greenwood at Tuesday, February 05, 2013