True, or not?

Headline in the Sunday Telegraph yesterday.

Why can't a woman win Mastermind? Pass.

These were the exact words.


Er, HELLO?

*wheels off, sharpish*

Autumn is upon us.

The colours seem to gel, the Robinia Freesia(yellow tree) is amazing at this time of year. Click on the picture and have a browse!

Yaaahoooo !!

FUMING!

Spanish Goth inadvertently got me all wound up and unnecessary when I read his last post.

This climate change/global warming crap has got really out of control. What a brilliant way to tax the crap out of us all. Based on a load of unsubstantiated data that over half the worlds leading meteorologists and climateologists say is rubbish.The majority seem to say that the planet is going through a normal cyclical period. Global temperatures , taken since 1998, show a slight cooling trend.

So Gordon Brown and his cronies are going to make standard light bulbs a thing of history by 2011, and make us all buy energy saving bulbs, which cost 3 times as much, and don't like being turned on and off too often, (they fail), great! Who's going to pay for all my new lampshades?

These bulbs are made using mercury, which the EU has just stopped our barometer makers from using, in case it gets into landfill. Where are the dud energy saving bulbs going to go?

And, whilst China is opening a new coal-fired power station every 4 days, this is going to save the planet?

Which planet do these people live on?

Joke Tuesday. (nearly forgot)

A little girl finds her dog dead with its ' legs in the air and asks her Dad why it is like that. Dad explains that it has died, and is like that so Jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven.

The next day she says, "Dad, Mum nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting , "Oh, Jesus, i'm coming." And if the window cleaner hadn't been holding her down, we'd have lost her!

Roll on winter ?

The photo in this post has been used with the subjects permission.

Can you imagine a Northerly force 7 in mid-winter?

Di, the landlady can't !! This was taken last week, it was cold......but not as cold as it will be!

Carrots !

Now, you wouldn't think a title 'Carrots' would attract much interest. But, I know you lot will come up with a better caption than that. Over to you..........

Goth's challenge.

I have to make a story from the song titles of an album. ( It's a return favour).

"Right", said God, "I'm fed up with this sh*t dress rehearsal rag, it sucks. Adam, stop touching Eve up , and pay attention."

Adam, " I wasn't doing anything wrong, just fitting her for your famous blue raincoat."

God, "Oh, for f*cks sake, that piece of crap is soooo much last years, man!"

Adam, "But it's the one I made with those diamonds in the mine."

God was a bit pissed off with all this stalling, so he made Eve pregnant, and being God rushed the pregnancy through. Cain and Abel were soon born into this world that only took six days to make , don't forget.

"Eve, pick those f*cking apples up, or there'll be an avalanche of them soon.

"Piss off dad, there's a f*cking snake in the tree!"

God said,"Don't you talk to me like that, you tart!

Adam, "you see Eve, love calls you by your name."

God, "I suppose there'll be another dress rehearsal rag now?"

Eve, "No, Joan of Arc's cancelled, her agent said she has another burning issue."

Adam and Eve in unison, "Sing another song , boys."

"STOP PRESS"!

THIS IS SERIOUS !!

Beer contains female hormones.

Last month, The University of Lesotho said scientists revealed that beer contains female hormones.

Men should take a good look at their beer consumption. The theory is that hops contain Phytoestrogens and that by drinking too much beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints each. Within 1 hour it was then observed that 100% of the test subjects developed the following symptoms:

1. Argued over nothing
2. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
3. Talked excessively without making sense
4. Became overly emotional
5. Couldn't drive
6. Failed to think rationally
7. Gained weight
8.Had to sit down when urinating

No further testing was deemed necessary.

Songs, the first line # 2

At the request of a good bloggy friend............ Artist and track please.

1. A long time ago came a man on a track........
2. You saw me standing by the wall, corner of a main street........
3. How many special people change, how many lives are living strange.......
4. While the sun hangs in the sky and the desert has sand.........
5. I got to have a shot of what you got is oh so sweet......
6. I been laid off from work, my rent is due, my kids all need brand new shoes..........
7. Mother doesn't know where love has gone.......
8. I sit and wait.......
9. It's been seven hours and fifteen days......
10. Wont you come see about me........