Bugger, tagged !

The ever so slightly mad Karmyn has tagged me with this. What would I do if I was rich and famous, what would my demands be?

1. Firstly, a Swedish au pair, preferably a practicing nymphomaniac.
2. Then, a chef to save Dad cooking!
3. A chauffeur to ferry me to the pub and back. (Already got that!). Thanks Dad!
4. A cleaner to save Dad doing it. Maybe the au pair could double up?
5. Another au pair to cover for the first ones holidays. (I am not too harsh on employees).
6. A black Labrador. I really miss my last one!
7. Visit all my bloggie friends! That would be tops!!
8. Get my body functioning again, like it used to.
9. Nothing else, I am pretty happy with my lot.

I thought I was famous !

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Joke Tuesday.

What's the difference between PMT & BSE ?

One attacks the cows brain and sends it f*cking mental,and apparently the other is an agricultural problem.......

*I'm off, before the shit hits the fan!*

Doomed, we're all doomed!

This was taken a couple of days ago. An azalea. What is this doing flowering now?

Pub News

You may, or may not know about Nikki. She is the owner of Larry the queer horse. Nikki is also a milkwoman. No story there I here you say........but!

Nikki has just started a new round, and in learning said round had to go out with the outgoing person to learn the ropes.

On this particular day they had to go and deliver to a place called Croft quarry. This is a working quarry, and as such is required by law to have a wheel wash for the lorries leaving the site. Nikki always has the window down, but the driver didn't tell her about the wheel wash!

Straight in, all over her, soaked............I didn't laugh!

Publog

I'M BACK !!!!!!!!!!

Joyous singing and dancing. At last my beautiful header is back!

Where did it come from, you might ask.

I don't know, but I have a sneaky idea.

Pub update.

We still have no sign of Trigger, but my hopes for the survival of 'PUBLOG' were surprisingly given a boost today.

Di, the LANDLADY, had made some freshly filled rolls, (cobs here), and bought them out to put in the small fridge on the bar. Now the rolls are usually stuffed full of various fillings, and because it seems like Di uses a chainsaw to 'slice' the cheese or ham, etc, they normally require a snakes ability to dislocate ones mouth to be able to bite them. Good value for £1.20.

However, today she spotted two in the fridge that looked a little sparse on the filling side. All wrapped up nicely with cling-film, except there wasn't anything in them!!

And she TOLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Trigger?

Well done polly parrot!

From todays Daily Telegraph.

A man in Dallas, Texas shot dead an intruder, after his parrot woke him up, when it said hello to the burglar!!

Bird brain? NO!!

Joke Tuesday.

Woman goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. They are priced at £300, £150, and £15.

"Why is the last one so cheap, he looks the best?"

"He used to live in a brothel", replies the owner.

"I dont mind ," she says, "I'll take him".

When she gets home, the parrot says, "F*ck me, not another new brothel!"

The woman laughs.

When her daughters arrive home the parrot says, "F*ck me! Two new whores!"

The girls laugh.

Dad arrives, and the parrot says,


















"F*ck me! Pete, I haven't seen you for ages!!"

My biking years.

This is for a bloggie friend, and for me, as it bought back so many happy memories. It is also dedicated to Roger, RIP mate! Yamaha RD200, 1979. My first bike, aged 17. I skipped the moped stage because Mum wouldn't let me have one!

Honda CB400-4 F1 1980. A modern classic now, this was a cracking bike, my second . I Fell off this once, in the next village to us. The bloke whose hedge I went through wasn't very chuffed the next day! He never did find out, i'd scarpered!!

Yamaha DT175, 1981. This was my first foray into off-road bikes for road use. I got the bug, hence the manic thing below.

Suzuki PE400, 1982. This is the most fun you can have on a bike! Totally banzai, road legal, and a true enduro bike. Power wheelies up to 4th gear, eats Yamaha RD350-LCs for breakfast 0-60mph!

Suzuki GS550-E 1984. This was a nice bike, bullet proof engine. Only fell off this once! My fault of course. Too fast, molten tarmac, no front wheel grip, result? Ditch !!

Honda CB900-F2.1986. Cracking bike, smooth and quick for its time!

Preparations for 2 weeks in the South of France. Arcachon here we come! 580 miles from Cherbourg in 10 hours, stopping for fuel every 150 miles! FUN ! Do you recognize the bloke with hair tending his bike?

Mortified !

I know I've given Di, the landlady a bit of grief over her push-me-pull-you dog, but she hit me with a reply that shocked me to the core.

They are having a Hallo'een disco with a fancy dress theme. One of the lads asked if I would be dressing up. I replied that I would come as I was. To which Di said,

"You'll win hands down!!"

*WalkWheel into that, why don't I !!*

Political crap

I don't usually do politics, it seems far too contentious for a blog. Especially this one! But as I tippy-type away, I am listening to a programme on BBC2, called Why Democracy? The Ministry of Truth.

Proposing his own Misrepresentation of the People bill, Richard Symons listens to Jack Straw, Harriet Harmon and Lord Falconer tell him why it's unrealistic for politicians to be held accountable for what they tell the electorate.

Am I missing something here ??