A mate of mine went fishing last week and caught this beauty, 23 pounds! The blood is his, its teeth grazed his finger, and as they have an anti-coagulant a lot of blood follows!
This is my first successful photoshop post. Thanks Keith !
I didn't quite grasp what I'd heard at first, but the ensuing fits of laughter confirmed things.
Bush (don't ask) : "Hello Sharon, you have a good Christmas?"
Sharon: "Not really, I've had that bug. But now I'm better and looking forward to a good blow-out!"
Bush, spluttering in his pint: "Can you let me finish the drink first?"
Sharon: "I said BLOW-OUT!"
Bush: "Same thing, just inhale now and then."
Sharon: "John, you wont blog this will you?"
Me: "No, would I?"
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BTW, I have come into some information regarding my beloved friend Zoe. Now, being the friend that I am. I told Zoe about my windfall.
"Oh f*ck, where did you get that?!"
"Top secret."
"Keith knows."
"You bastard, I'm toast!"
Read future posts, Keith gets the info tomorrow!
Just when I was beginning to get a small grip of posting using HTML, one of my mates tells me to get Photoshop.
"Use this, it's brilliant. I do all my designing using this." He says. "You can do anything with this."
I gleefully took it home and downloaded it, thinking I could make distorted pictures of Keith.
Instructions, no! Can I use it, no. Ring a bell................?
To ALL my friends in the blogosphere who sent me best wishes for 2007, it did f*ck-all!
For 2008, could you please send either money, alcohol or petrol vouchers.
Cheers!!
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You have to know that a very good time was had in the Merrie Monk last night, and, on wishing Di a happy New Year at lunchtime I received the following reply: " I feel like shit".!!
This has been taken in part from todays Sunday Telegraph.
Just in time for the New Year , we have discovered a useful new concept: the resolution-lite. Reports say that some obliging scientists have discovered that "pottering about" is good for burning off calories. Another group of obliging medical experts say that more people, particularly men in their forties (
ME), are risking serious injury by entering the triathlon, or other extreme sport (HELLO)?!
So here are some timely suggestions for 2008:
Set aside 20 mins a day for some serious loitering, just wandering about. Re-tie your shoe laces twice a day, the bending down works wonders! Burn off those calories by blinking. Try stretching by putting the whisky bottle on a higher shelf. Make the sacrifice and switch to dark chocolates. Tone up your thigh muscles by carrying more loose change.
Happy New Year!!
We had a bit of fun in the local this lunchtime.It was a big day in the horse racing year, the Welsh Grand National. Keith rolled up and joined in. Also in attendance were Nikki, Charlie(not the peke), Steve and moi. The idea was to pick a horse in each of the televised races and put £1.00 down. If no-one won, it was nearest the winner. Nikki cleaned up after the first roll-over.
Tomorrow we go for the roll-over (I won the penultimate race), no-one won the last.
This is for our lovely landlady, Di. She has a Peke called Charlie (say no more)!
Di takes some stick about Charlie, but also hands out some good hidings in return. This is my way of getting a present some brownie points!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my bloggie friends. Especially those who have helped me with this HTML crap, I will be forever grateful.
Christmas in our house is not a joyous affair these days, so we wander down the garden and through the magic gate that leads to my crazy 'sisters'', and her equally crazy(Welsh) husband. They treat us to a superb lunch,(we supply the vino), and I try to get just drunk enough so I can still walk. Then it's back home for a snooze........perfect!!
