Trigger has had this week off work, which means I've had to put up with him for an hour or so every lunch in the pub. Now this is not such a bad thing, as I get some ammo for my blog. Today was a good oppurtunity.
Trigger came in sporting a smart new haircut. He said he wanted a change. A makeover.
Emma, the barmaid said that it would be like that T.V. programme........Scrapheap Challenge!
Trigger laughed, he's a good sport!
I hereby take no respoibility for this joke, blame KEITH.
What's brown. smells and comes out of cows?
The Isle of Wight ferry!
Trigger, as you may have read here has been listening, but not absorbing talk about steaming food. Today, one of the lads bought a surplus to requirements steamer and gave it to Trigger.
"Thanks, what do I owe you?"
"Nothing, it's yours".
"Cheers, are there any instructions?"
"No, but you'll be ok, it's twat proof."
Now I know this may not be your subject, so googling is allowed.
FOUR horse race courses in England that DO NOT have the letters ' RACE ' in them.
Toodle pip, answer tomorrow'ish!
A little poser for you all.
Bank Holiday.
Take these letters and name one city in England that contains NONE of them.
There is only one.
Good luck, and no googling!!
I know a lot of you are excellent cooks/chefs, and a few of the locals in the pub are fairly handy.
One of the lads has just bought a steamer, and was asking OBE WAN for some advice about cooking times for veg. Trigger was listening in, as usual. OBE WAN gave his advice, which Pete the builder (another character Beccy) accepted.
"That sounds easy". said Trigger. "Can I do my beef in there as well?"
DOH!!!!!!!!
What a scream i've had today!
For the sake of simplicity Australian voices are in capitals. (loud).
Dad dropped me off at the pub as usual. Horror! Six Aussies sat at my table. What to do? The landlord shrugged his shoulders.
"Excuse me guys, do you think i could move to this corner of the table, it makes things easier for me.
NO BLOODY WORRIES COBBER.
"Thanks a lot".
They were playing darts, badly. I put the cricket on.
CHRIST, NOW HERE'S A SPORT YOU POMS CANT PLAY.
Why did I put the cricket on?
YOU LOT WERE CRAP IN THE WORLD CUP.
"Yes".
They were a good lot, who, I discovered were over for a wedding. The landlords sister was marrying one of them.
They kept passing my beer to me when I needed a refill, and we had a good laugh.
The darts didn't improve, the alcohol consumption did! Dad arrived at 3pm and I got up, shook hands with them all.
"Two things i've learnt about you guys!"
WHAT'S THAT?
"You convicts cant play darts for shit!!"
"And you're a great laugh!".
PISS OFF YOU POMMIE BASTARD.
My bar bill? Nothing, the convicts bought the lot!!
I noticed the other day that my 100th post had been passed. Who'd of thought it, me finding 100 things to blog about!
As you all know, my life has had it's downs and downs over the past 7 years, what with my prang, and then Mum dying. What has kept me going is a manic sense of humour, my Dad (you are a star), my 'Sister',( Lindsay, I love you to bits), and above all YOU my bloggie friends. Without you lot my access to the outside world would have been lost.
You, my friends are MY WORLD, and long may it continue!!
Toodle pip . I love you all, and thank you.
First attempt, bear with me.
I tried, I tried, I really did
But all the words, they went and hid
My mind is a ripple
Not too bad for a middle aged cripple
Don't feel sorry, don't feel bad
After all I still have my Dad
The one thing that is so sad is.........
I've got to buy Keith a pint and a cob tomorrow!
