Joke Tuesday .

MEN'S PEARLS OF WISDOM

1. When I was born, I was given a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I forgot which I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. You ask, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying , "No hard feelings".
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try-Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialler were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A French kiss, but down under.
14. Q: What are the biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks,job sucks, wife doesn't.
15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts dont have eyes.
16. Despite the old saying,'Dont take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives.

There will be some hilarity here tomorrow!!

No John, you've got it wrong. There will be some hilarity TODAY!

When I promised not to publish this picture I was lying! I had my fingers crossed behind my back. . .