Pub news.

It's a strange pub, this one (you may have gathered), insomuch that it is a truly country, booze only pub. Apart from Sunday lunch time, when assorted locals bring varoius things, usually homemade, in for all to try. We've had all sorts over the years. Squirrel pate, smoked pigeon, smoked trout, assorted curries, the list is endless. What a select few really like is hot, spicey food. Today, however, everything had been bought.

Pickled garlic, surprisingly sweet.

Anchovies. Not to my liking, too salty, but they went down well with the others!

Pickled chillies. The local lads, well, most of them can handle this stuff. Apart from Pete the builder who is a wimp, but gullible."They aren't hot", said The Poacher. "These are the green, sweet chillies." He tried one.

"You b*atards!" Splutter, cough, splutter. Lager is pouring down Pete's throat in a vain attempt to ease the burning. This makes it worse. You need milk or yoghurt to cool chilli heat!

Jez has tried all of the above with no problem when Di, our ever-so-lovely soaker landlady comes in with the Chipolatta sausages, sausage rolls, roast potatoes, ham sandwiches,etc.

"Try this Di." Says The Poacher, offering her the pickled garlic. "No thanks", She says. "What about an anchovy?" He asks. "UGH,no!" She exclaims. "Try a sweet chilli," He says, "They aren't hot." Di takes a bite, chews, and..."Oh, you B*stard, Oh sh*t, Charly, coke, quick!" Bad move! By now we are all p*ssing ourselves with laughter.

Did I try any of it? PERLEASE! I've known these buggers for far too long!

The moral of this tale is, DON'T TRUST ANYONE IN HERE WHEN THEY SAY IT ISN'T HOT!!!