Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Joke Tuesday.

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a 'worst job
experience' contest.

Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below.


Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother..
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share
my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit.


This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up
a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it, however, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate..

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my arse.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my
arse was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Thanks K.B. xx

3 comments:

Guyana-Gyal said...

I am going to send this to my cousin who's been telling me she...oh, she says she hates work. Not just her job. Work.

john.g. said...

lol

Pat said...

It's the brass helmet that finished me!