Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Joke Tuesday.

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged,

French woman's poodle...

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired. She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place ....

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.

Monday, 27 May 2013

More general drivel.

Believe it or not, this is NOT by LS LOWRY, but is shit: bird shit to be precise. I took the pic on the glass of our side door.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

General drivel.

Sundown from my back garden.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

General drivel.

As you know, I love my motor bikes. This must explain things, as my Dad had bikes too!

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Garden news.

Wisteria on a South facing wall.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Joke Tuesday.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband standing around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?", she asked. "Hunting Flies", he responded. "Oh. ! Killed any?", she asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." he responded.

Thanks to my friend,KB

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Pub news- Beer festival.

The Main attractions. All racked up and ready to flow!

The opening night was packed!

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Pub news.

It' s time for the 5th annual Hollybush Beer and Cider Festival. It doesn't seem 12 months ago! I'll put some more photos on over the next couple of days, but for now, here's the menu. Click to enlarge.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

General drivel.

It's the training that counts!

Friday, 10 May 2013

Home news.

Dad is EIGHTY FOUR tomorrow! I wanted to treat him to a meal at the pub, but, he's having none of it!
Aaahh well, at his age it's just another day! 


Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Joke Tuesday.

By Pam Ayres of course..
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Sunday, 5 May 2013

Pub news.

Busy in the pub today. The usual crowd were in, supplimented by the usual Saturday lot, who were at a vintage car and bike rally at the pub around the the corner from where I live yesterday! I didn't know about it!!

My Sunday lunch was up to it's usual high standard, so I'm stuffed!

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Garden news.

Spring has finally arrived with a sudden riot of colour!

The Cherry looks good, albeit a good 3 weeks late.

The Magnolia hasn't disappointed either. Again, a good 3 or 4 weeks late.