Saturday, 29 June 2013

Pub news.

As mentioned in yesterdays blog, our visitors arrived bang on time. The rest of the lads filed in later, and we had a brilliant 3 hours of booze, (apart from Kenny, who was driving), food and above all, laughter!

Everyone clicked right away, which made it all the better! They have vowed to return, which, I suppose,is a good sign!

Friday, 28 June 2013

Pub news.

Tomorrow, I/we have visitors to the pub! Facebook friends from Birmingham-ish, (you get the gist). Never met them before, so am really looking forward to meeting them. They are both mad, and bikers, and the usual crew are coming in, so, we should have a good laugh!

I think Kenny and Sarah will fit in just fine!

More later

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Garden news.

The climbing rose in the front is good this year!

Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Joke Tuesday.

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.’

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Friday, 21 June 2013

Home news.

Dad in his element. In the garden, sun out with a whisky!

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Joke Tuesday.

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a buzzing noise. Opening the door, she saw her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

The daughter replied: 'Mom, I'm 35, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Go away and leave me alone.'

Next day, her father heard the same buzz and, upon entering the room, saw his daughter getting it on big time.

To his query the daughter said: 'Dad, I'm 35, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Go away.'

A couple of days later, the wife came home from shopping and heard the buzzing coming from the living room. In she went and saw hubby sitting on the couch, downing a beer, and staring at the TV - with the vibrator next to him on the couch.

The wife asked: 'What the %@!* are you doing?' He replied: 'Watching football with my son-in-law.'

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Pub news.

After a quiet start to the week, the customers seem to have collaberated together, and came in en-masse. The place was really busy, which is good news of course! The frustrating aspect of this business, is, you don't know when they will come in!

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Joke Tuesday.

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit.

"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little bastard Rabbit has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Joke Tuesday.

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer,
decided to hire herself out as a "handywoman"and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do yuppie
neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd
jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the pink paint and brushes and everything she would need were in
the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it, just because she's blonde?" he responded.
The wife replied, "You're right. I'm sorry, guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the girl came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her, along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the girl said. "And by the way, that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari"

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Pub news.

A great laugh in the pub this lunchtime with four of my mates. Shame it was my turn to buy lunch!! Still, that now gives me four weeks gratis eating! What comes round.........

The pub has been doing well, and the improvement in the weather has bought families in(It's half term). Mercifully the warmth keeps the little bastards darlings in the beer garden, throwing up on the bouncy castle, and we get peace and quiet!