Trigger had his ears syringed yesterday, and about time too, he was becoming intolerable (even more so than usual).
Anyway, in he waltzes this lunchtime,a smug grin on his chops(mouth, for the not-in-the-know). Di came to serve him.
Di: "Hello, Tw*t, pedigree?"
Trigger:"Yes please darling. I love it when you're nice to me."
Di:"Don't hold your breath!"
Enter Charlie, a recent addition to the bar staff. Charlie is a lovely girl and being a carer is very tolerant of Trigger.
Charlie: "Hello Trigger, how are the ears today?"
A week or so ago Charlie's mum reversed into her car, denting the passenger door quite badly. She did mention it to Trigger at the time so she thought she would update him on the progress so far.
Charlie:"My car went to the garage for assessment today."
Me: "For f*cks sake Trigger, you've only just had your ears syringed! What did they do, blast it all out from one side?"
I gave up, everyone was smirking,Trigger drank up and went home non the wiser. He always has been a bit mutton jeff!
And, no, he wasn't taking the piss!