Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Joke Tuesday.

Simple home remedies that work

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: THESE REALLY WORK!!


1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT- USE THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

10 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

You dare use the sink and I'll make you do the washing up.
Quite true about the WD40 and the Duct tape though.
Sx

john.g. said...

LOL!

© Karelian Blonde said...

You are a slinky indeed my dearest JG!

Discusting by the way...*shivers*

john.g. said...

Don't shiver KB! xx

Z said...

They all seem to me to make a lot of sense. Am I a closet bloke?

john.g. said...

Z, possibly! xx

Karmyn R said...

ROFL - I think I'll get Dave to hold my vegetables from now on.

Guyana-Gyal said...

What I'd like to know is this...is there such a thing as a *good* cough? People always say bad cough which means...

john.g. said...

A good cough is one to express "excuse me, but....."

Anonymous said...

When you crap your pants...bad cough..