Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Joke Tuesday.

I'm getting on now, so don't take offence! You can have the gate, it's knackered!!

Seniors:

Hints on how to liven up your idle hours... To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!

2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!?

3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a Diet Water with two ice cubes and no sharp edges whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Sing Along At The Opera.

6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go...

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

5 comments:

Karelian Blonde said...

HA! I would love to do no 5 :)

Keith Smith said...

How to spoil someone's day.

Go up to a complete stranger in the street, give a big smile and say "Well hello there, I haven't seen you for such a long time. How's things? We must meet up sometime for a drink. Sorry I can't stop and chat, but I have an appointment in about five mins. Lovely to see you, bye".

Pat said...

I'm rather tempted by #3

Keith Smith said...

Pat - my skipping days are gone. More like I would crawl down the street. Now that would attract even more attention.

http://earlshilton.org.uk/writing/

Ms Scarlet said...

I rather fancy trying all of them!
The condom one would be interesting...
Sx