Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Joke Tuesday.#8

1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good memory...
I can't recall, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object.. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4.. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings....'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialler were too small...

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.
Many men still sleep with their wives!!

Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humor.


© Karelian Blonde said...

"15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't."


Pat said...

Now I wonder who wrote that - man or woman?

sablonneuse said...

Sorry I didn't send you a birthday card (but it would have been alcohol related). Anyway, hope you had a great day and Many Happy Returns for last week.
Lots of love to you and your super dad. xx

Keith said...

Did you enjoy that pint I bought you for your birthday?

If you did, then I'll buy you another one on your next birthday.

Can't say fairer than that.

Kila said...

Very funny, I'll have to share these with my man.

john.g. said...

Hi, Kila