Pub news.

I had a visit from Di this lunchtime,(we try to meet once a week). She goes on holiday to Majorca with her mother tomorrow. I have informed the Majorcan authorities!

She had some fancy nail thingys put on the other day in the local dump city. It was a nail salon she hadn't used before and,on entering, had a look round and spotted a woman doing nothing. She approached her and pushed her hand under the womans' nose and proceeded to explain what she required, but could she check her nail-base first. Five minutes later the woman said, "I don't work here, I'm waiting for mine to set".

After eventually having her nails done,Di leaves the salon. It starts pouring with rain(no brolly). Whilst gettig soaked, she is accosted by a man who thrusts a card under her nose trying to sell her insurance.As she tries to get rid of him,she is distracted and walks into a lamp-post! Relatively unhurt, but very wet and now embarrased, she toddles off home.

Maybe she should have taken the insurance!