As mentioned in yesterdays blog, our visitors arrived bang on time. The rest of the lads filed in later, and we had a brilliant 3 hours of booze, (apart from Kenny, who was driving), food and above all, laughter!
Everyone clicked right away, which made it all the better! They have vowed to return, which, I suppose,is a good sign!
Tomorrow, I/we have visitors to the pub! Facebook friends from Birmingham-ish, (you get the gist). Never met them before, so am really looking forward to meeting them. They are both mad, and bikers, and the usual crew are coming in, so, we should have a good laugh!
I think Kenny and Sarah will fit in just fine!
More later
Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.’
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a buzzing noise. Opening the door, she saw her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'
The daughter replied: 'Mom, I'm 35, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Go away and leave me alone.'
Next day, her father heard the same buzz and, upon entering the room, saw his daughter getting it on big time.
To his query the daughter said: 'Dad, I'm 35, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Go away.'
A couple of days later, the wife came home from shopping and heard the buzzing coming from the living room. In she went and saw hubby sitting on the couch, downing a beer, and staring at the TV - with the vibrator next to him on the couch.
The wife asked: 'What the %@!* are you doing?' He replied: 'Watching football with my son-in-law.'
After a quiet start to the week, the customers seem to have collaberated together, and came in en-masse. The place was really busy, which is good news of course! The frustrating aspect of this business, is, you don't know when they will come in!
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a
giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend,
Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the
forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at
him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the
rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again
says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to
yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll
feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and
all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The
three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do
you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us
through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him,
puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. The
giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind
to pull the lion off the rabbit.
"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do
this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That
little bastard Rabbit has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours
every time he's on ecstasy!"
A great laugh in the pub this lunchtime with four of my mates. Shame it was my turn to buy lunch!! Still, that now gives me four weeks gratis eating! What comes round.........
The pub has been doing well, and the improvement in the weather has bought families in(It's half term). Mercifully the warmth keeps the little bastards darlings in the beer garden, throwing up on the bouncy castle, and we get peace and quiet!
