Joke Tuesday.

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which
I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the
only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware
program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system,
forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 1.2 at the same
time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they
caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this product
soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While wife 1.0 tends to use up
all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and
CleanHouse2005. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0
could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They
then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can,
without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products
have no help files, and it leaves me to try and guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and HairStyle Expess which needs to be
reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches its self to Saab
93, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which
can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003,
but there could be problems. A friend has alerted me to the fact that if
Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all your money before
uninstalling itself.

Just a warning chaps!