Where is Yaxlich ? Not a squeak since June 5th. Somebody find him.
BTW. Keith (smithy lane/grumpy old git) has severed his links with Yahoo, and is currently looking for a new provider. He assures me he will be back soon. When he comes back I shall present him with a bill for services rendered in providing this information. How many pints do you think would be fair?
I've had a terrible thought. What if the hypnotherapist gets it all wrong?
She might make me carry on smoking, and stop me drinking instead! This would be a disaster of cataclysmic proportions. Worse than the war on Iraq, or Brown becoming PM. This would spell the end of Publog. I'd better call to double check my reasons or I wont sleep tonight.
On the 1st of July, the smoking ban comes into effect in Blighty. I enjoy my cigs, but being one of the less mobile sorts I have decided to quit, rather tha struggle outside. So, on July 5th at 3pm, I am going to get hypnotised. One of my mates did this 6 months ago, and hasn't wanted one since, so I am going to the same person.
Wish me luck. £80 for 1 hour, it better bloody work!!
If it does I'm going to learn this hypnotherapy stuff, it sounds profitable!
My youngest cousin sent this earlier, and boy did it tug at the heart strings. I was supposed to send it on as an e-mail, but I thought the impact would be as good on here. Feel free to forward it on.
This poem was written by a terminally ill young teenage girl in a New York hospital. It was sent by her doctor. Make sure you read the closing statement after the poem.
SLOW DANCE.
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go round?
Or listen to the rain
Slapping the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading light?
You better slow down.
Don't dance too fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask,"How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
Because you never had time
To call and say, "Hi?"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day.
It's like an unopened gift.........
Thrown away.
Life is not a race, do take it slower
Hear the music, before the song is over.
This young girl has 6 months to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their lives to the fullest, since she never will.
American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment plan.
So, to those people I sent the e-mail to, send it on. If you didn't get the e- mail, let me know, and I'll send it.
I read that Bernard Manning has died. He upset a lot of people with his humour, but I liked him. The ruder/crasser the funnier. I don't dwell on political correctness. If it makes you laugh, then laugh. If it doesn't, then ignore it, and let other people have fun. Here are a few of his jokes supplied by Daily Telegraph readers:
I see they've found Donald Campbells body- it came out of a tap in Huddersfield!
At the Embassy club in the 1980s: "We've got some boys from the Falklands in the audience tonight, give them a big round of applause!" When the clapping had died down, "they're Argentinian!"
There's a blind guy waiting at the traffic lights, when his guide dog pees on his leg. The man reaches into his pocket and gives the dog a biscuit. A man standing nearby says: "That's wonderful- the dog peed on you, but you still gave him a biscuit."
"Yeah, well I was just trying to find out where his mouth is so I can kick him in the bollocks!"
Barbara has tagged me. Eight random things about me.
1: I was fit (ish) once.
2: I have owned 13 motor bikes, and have fallen off them all, the last time in Archachon,(SW France), whilst stationary, but pissed.
3: I am a passionate supporter of Man Utd. (I was born there).
4: I am not keen on big, dead trees, especially in high winds.
5: My friends in the pub call me IRONSIDE !
6: When I was 14 I fell in the canal, from our narrow-boat. My golden Labrador came running down the towpath to 'rescue' me, nicked my hat and buggered off! Never did find the hat.
7: Keith gave me a book called 'html in easy steps', I have no idea what any of it means!!
8: I love blogging!
The view from my wheelchair!
Obe Wan, our supplier of food, and computer guru.
Entertainment centre.
Guess who and Sharon the barmaid.
Table skittles
TRIGGER!!When I woke up this morning, I seemed to be full of life and raring to go. I went downstairs and decided to go out for a walk. Down the disused railway line I used to use when my old Labrador was alive. It is a magical place, teeming with wildlife.I took my dog down there every day. He used to chase the rabbits, in fact he'd chase anything. Always without success.
Dad came with me today. He's not bad for 78. When we got back it was breakfast time. A full fry-up, then.................
I woke up!
It's good to dream.
It's also good to have a laugh!!!!!!!
Trigger made a funny comment today.
The lads were talking about gardening and cooking, as usual. This is a country pub, and nearly all of our clique have allotments, or grow their own at home. Trigger, however is a townie. One of the can't cook/ can't grow brigade. Supermarket/fray bentos.
Obe Wan: "Try these potatoes Trigger, home grown, freshly dug this morning". (They were good).
"All you talk about is gardening or cooking". said Trigger.
"You eat what I talk about though". replied Obe Wan.
"What, BULLSHIT?!"
For the older generation, but don't forget, we'll all be there soon!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the drive, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start towards the garage, I notice there is mail on the porch table that I bought in earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before washing the car.
I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I,m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take out my chequebook, and see there is only one left. My extra cheques are in my desk, so I go inside. There is a can of Coke I had been drinking earlier.I'm going to look for my cheque book, but first I need to put the coke in the fridge to cool it.
As I head towards the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye, they need watering.
I put the coke on the counter, and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I'd better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses down, fill a can of water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight, when we want to watch TV, I will be looking for it, so I decide to put it back in the lounge, but first I' ll water the flowers.
I pour water on the flowers, but spill a drop. I put the remote down, get a towel to dry up the water.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The drive is flooded,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of coke on the counter,
there is still only one cheque in my book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled, because I know I was busy all day, and I,m knackered!
My Dad says this is him!!
WHY MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDS!
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had stayed at a friend's house. The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew a thing about it.
Friendship between women:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had stayed at a friends house. The woman called 10 of her husband's best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had stayed, and two claimed he was still there!
No joke today, the ones I have are not clean enough!
I thought I'd share this with you.
My Irish friends(no slight on the Irish) son bought a laptop off E-Bay. It worked fine for a week and then, nothing. I got a call asking if OBE-WAN, my computer guru would have a look at it.
Here are the results:
1: The hard disk is bad and a replacement is about £50. It is not an original disk and appears to have been changed before...screws missing, bent pins etc.
2: The battery is shot...about£100.
3: If a new disk was installed there is no guarantee the rest will work. The charger plug is not aligned properly, so doesn't work. The CD drive is not fitted correctly. From this I assume someone with no idea has butchered it.
Recommendation.
Bin it and buy a new one. The carry case it's in is worth more than the laptop!
Don't buy anything electrical without looking at it first.
Here endeth the lesson.
