Saturday, 31 October 2009

Pub News.

Halloween. Why do I have to wear a stupid hat? I am not a witch, witches are female (traditionally). Maybe I resemble Harry Potter! Notice the loon in the background, my mate Baz!

Me and Charlie

Charlie and Reevy

Charlie and Reevy. What the dog is after is the subject of todays quiz! Answers to the blog!

13 comments:

ChrisB said...

The colour suits you John.

As for the dog I hesitate to say 'sausages' LOL!!

wendishness said...

Oh you look cute with the hat on, what are you worried about!

I think the dog is looking for its owner to get him a beer LOL

apositivepessimist said...

You’d have to be a warlock instead. I notice you’s go all out in the costume department…sharing the one orange hat.

Dogs looking for a different type of hat.

john.g. said...

Chris, thank you, I think!

john.g. said...

Wendy, that isn't his dog!

john.g. said...

Pessimist, there's a recession on you know!

Mr Farty said...

Nice to see you getting into the spirit of Halloween. What will you do for Guy Fawkes?

john.g. said...

Mr. Farty, don't tempt them please!

Pat said...

Suits you John. Do you have transitional glasses? They look a little dark.

Dumdad said...

John.g,

Here's a joke (incidentally you never used that bear joke I posted and you unposted?):

Three of my friends, a father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first..

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little.'

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole.

(She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.'

The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.' She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.

If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night..'

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.'

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb.

'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.'

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme, sweetheart.'

mutleythedog said...

is your head pointy by any chance? I don't get the long golf joke either - whats a gimme sweetheart?

john.g. said...

Mutley, get a life!

mutleythedog said...

Nope. I dont get it, guess its a golf thing of some sort...