Tales of a Christmas past!

It's OVER! Yippee!

For the record, the pub did about 350 turkey dinners on the run-up to Christmas, and that's without the hundreds of other meals! It has been a lively festive period this year. Trade has been pretty good on the lunchtimes i've been in,(which is all bar one!), and I know Christmas day was packed!

On the home front things have been the same as usual. We went over to my sisters on Christmas day, for lunch and wine! Sis got pissed! I had one over the eight, and had a great time! I went to the pub on Boxing Day and Dad went to my sisters after he had picked me up at 3.00. When he came home he was carrying a full roast lamb dinner that sis had plated up for me, lovely! We are over there on New Years day for lunch, as the pub is shut all day. It's Pauls day off with his family.

So, another year nearly gone, and who-knows-what on the horizon. I hope whatever comes your way is pleasant!

Joke Tuesday.

Subject: FW: Older Women




I'll confess, I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
'What's that? I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, ‘tonight’s your lucky night’.
We went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'

General drivel. (priceless 2)

A letter, published in todays Daily Telegraph brought a big smile to my face. The young lad has obviously grasped the seriousness of the financial crisis, but has not been told the whole truth about Christmas!

It went as follows...Sir. My eight year old son said to me today, "Dad, don't worry about the expensive presents I want this year, I've put them on my list to Santa, as he doesn't have to pay for them."

What course of action should I take for such a generous offer?

General drivel.

Can't you tell it's Christmas? All the outgoings associated with the festive season,(£6.99 for me, £12.00 for Dad, and, £30.00 as a joint spend)! And, just as we'd thought how tight frugal we had been, the freezer packs up!! Well, not entirely. We've had to put it on 'fast freeze', but that won't last forever, so, it's a new freezer for us!

Ho, hum. So much for being frugal!

Joke Tuesday.

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.


It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

Pub news.

As I reported yesterday, the pub was getting busy. Well, 102 booked in today! Plus walk-ins.

An awful lot of people must like Turkey!!

Pub news.

As Christmas approaches, the pub gets busier. It was a pretty good lunchtime and this afternoon the local shooting party are in.

There are also 64 Christmas dinners booked in tonight! Don't people get fed up with turkey?

Madness!

Politically correct lunacy!

Cambridge University is advising its academics to avoid proffering their hand in greeting to Muslims and the disabled in the event that it offends them.

Please tell me, as a cripple, that it is not just me who thinks this is stupidity in the extreme!

Joke Tuesday. (priceless)

That explains it then!

A question for you.

The 'Chairman', who has his own engineering unit was asked to make an implement for 'Waterboard Mick', and 'Roger the gas'.

The question is....what is it?

The closed position, beautifully modelled by the 'Beer monster'.

The open position.

Pub news.

The Festive decorations have gone up. Paul and Kellie do minimalist, but tasteful Xmas decorations, rather than gaudy tinsel and lights everywhere. I think they look very nice.

This is the bar area. Please note that the 'Chairman'(right), and the 'Beer monster'(left), are NOT part of the decorations, but fixtures and fittings!

This is the dining area, by the fireplace.

Christmas dinners start early

Another angle.

Joke Tuesday.

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.




"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me..............how's your day going?"

General drivel.

The festive season is almost upon us. As regular readers of this drivel will know, my father and me are not fans. Christmas is for kids. We do, however, look forward to two things.The first thing is the arrival of the first card, because we know who it is from and is always rude, but funny. We have known Janet for 38 years and she never lets us down. December 5th every year!

Here is this years offering.

The second thing we look forward to, is Christmas Day dinner ay my sisters house. Always a great meal, and always a good laugh. We supply the wine, they (BIL) cook!

General drivel.

I found this web site the other day.

ALLZIPPEDUP

They do easy-to-fit duvet covers. A full zip around three sides of the cover. Just unzip it, lay your quilt on it, and zip it up! No more thrashing around, swearing, and, in the case of my 82 year old Dad, getting out of breath!

"The best thing since sliced bread", was his verdict.

They aren't cheap at £49.99 for a double size with two matching pillow covers, but make up for that by making life easy! Fully washable and good quality, it took my Dad two minutes to change the duvet cover!

General drivel.

Jeremy Clarkson has caused more controversy by saying, last night on the BBC's 'The One Show', that the striking civil servants should be "taken out and shot in front of their families". Apparently nearly 5,000 people complained to the BBC, and the Unison union is taking legal advice with regard to suing him for inciting violence.

I suggest that the people who complained, and the union GET A LIFE!

Everyone knows what Clarkson is like. He breathes controversy. It's the way he gets publicity, and as anybody with a smattering of a sense of humour will know.......HE WAS ONLY JOKING!!!

If, however, you were insulted, TOUGH! Get over it!