Joke Tuesday.

The Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife,
"Ya now sumptin' womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station...
Bell 1 rings - we put on de jacket.
Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings - we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.

"From now on womon, When I say, 'Bell one' I wan t you to strip naked.
When I say, ' Bell two' you jump on de bed.
When I say, ' Bell three' we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."

The next night, he came home and shouted, "Bell One" and the wife stripped naked!
"Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!

After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four"
"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.


She shouted back,

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MAAN, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE!!"

The Good Life.

R.I.P.

 

 

 

RICHARD BRIERS.

 

 

 



Pub news.

Today was a prime example of the vagaries of the pub trade. No tables booked for food at lunchtime. Fast-forward to 12-55pm. No tables free for food, and people waiting or going elsewhere.

I did manage to get my order in for homemade steak and mushroom pie with creamed potatoes and peas. Gorgeous!!

Joke Tuesday.

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a hostile, unfriendly, miserable woman. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'The room erupted in applause!

Garden news.

This photo was taken yesterday morning, a male Siskin.

This photo was taken this morning, a female Siskin,(right), and male Greenfinch,(left).

As you can see, the weather is somewhat different!

Topical news.

With acknowledgements to Matt, of the Daily Telegraph.

Pub news.

According to Paul, this week has been the first for a long time that EVERY lunchtime has been really busy with food. I contributed with a beautiful gammon steak, pineapple, chips, peas, mushroom and tomato.

The evenings have been quiet, after the usual 5-00 'till 7-30 mob leave, although tonight the 'shoot' dinner are in.

Things look pretty good.

General drivel.

Some time ago I showed you a painting of two birds(feathered) that I did when I was 17.

An old friend called in the pub last Saturday. I hadn't seen him for 11 years, so we had a good natter,and he mentioned a mural of a record cover that I had painted on my bedroom wall. I remembered it vividly, but didn't have a photo. I was 18/19 at the time.

A couple of days ago he sent me a photo of the mural.

The album is by a German band called ELOY.

The album cover is bottom right to give it some scale.

Joke Tuesday.

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.

General drivel.

Dad excelled himself last night with an evening meal to die for! Braised steak and mash with loads of veg.