Contadiction of terms

Before anyone starts, i`ve just realised. O.k. So the odd insignificant change is allowed.

Changes

I hate changes, so it was with some trepidation that i heard that my local`s lease has been sold. I have made enquiries, obviously, and am told that it wont change (i put this in my first blog, but lost that), so hopefully we will still be an old fashioned country boozer, dead animals et al.

By the way Alan, where are you?

Things must change

Before i begin muttering, another company name.

Spotted in a lay-by on the A38, a mobile cafe...wait for it.

Breakfast at Timothy`s. YEAH, my favourite yet.

Anyway, back to muttering. Today i have decided a change in diet is required. This is a healthy eating choice as Father likes fish. So he is going to the local chippie for Haddock,chips and mushy peas! I LOVE this meal, and it saves Father cooking. He hates cooking! Tomorrow is Chinese night (it saves him cooking), King Prawn and roast Duck chow mein....mmm! Friday could be a fry -up, we both like that.

Now, i know all the comments will come in about the quality of my diet, lack of veg. etc., but do i give a toss? No, i have a rampant metabolism, always have. My weight is about the same as pre-accident levels. I love my salads in the summer(Father hates cooking), and we have loads of BBQs. He enjoys doing those because he`s outside, in the sun supping wine whilst cooking.

Are we a dysfunctional duo?

Addition to my last post

Zoe, i just thought of alternate recipe names, just for you.

How about, Todd-in-a-hole, battered?

Coq-au-Twat?............ come on keep them coming!

Company Names

The following appaeared in todays Daily Telegraph. I`m sure you know more, pass it on, and we`ll see.

From Battle in Sussex, a builder, William the Concreter.

Spotted on a van on the A303, cleaners, Spruce Springclean.

Solicitors in Leamington Spa, Wright-Hassel.

Concrete supplier, Jim`ll mix it.

And the best, from Dubai, 25 years ago (this came from my Traveller frind).......................
AL SHAGA enterprises !!

Anniversary

How time flies. Seven years ago, on this very date i got squashed by a nasty, very big Ash tree. Was it trying to punish me for having the surname Greenwood instead of deadwood? I think not just crap timing.

Now i carry on with a much harder task than my re-hab ahead of me. I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO USE THIS DAMN COMPUTER PROPERLY !

My computer guru came round to check my memory card (well the computer`s, mines crap anyway). This is for the switch to Microsoft Vista next month. Visit, www.stak.com for some brilliant deals before Jan 31st. Compare with Amazon.

Pub quiet today, which is unusual for a Monday, so nothing daft happened, will keep you posted.

Geography Lesson

My friend Trigger came in today, he`s a smashing bloke, but, DOH !!

We were watching the golf from Qatar, in the Middle East.

"Hello Trigger".

"O.K. ? Where`s this from?"

"Qatar".

"Where?"

"Qatar, it`s in the Middle East".

"Looks like they`ve built it in the desert".

Much spitting of beer and hilarity followed.

He really is a diamond !!

Nanny State

I was reading an article in todays Daily Telegraph, regarding children`s schooling. Now, i don`t have any kids, nor do i want any, but this didn`t stop me seething at what this poxy Government, and the politically correct lobby/litigation society are doing.

This is a small extract from a book called: How to Label a Goat: The Silly Rules and Regulations that are Strangling Britain by Ross Clark(Harriman House), £9.99.

The following have been banned by at least on school in Britain:

Making daisy chains
(risk of picking up germs).

Playing hopscotch
(risk of injury).

Playing football
(encourages competetiveness).

Wearing hair gel
(fire risk).

Making anything out of egg boxes
(fear of salmonella).....for f*cks sake!!

Home-made cakes
(fear of e-coli).

Wearing a plaster cast
(other children might fall over it).

Now call me old, 45 tomorrow, don`t forget, but did i break every rule in the land 34 years ago? NO,i did not. If i didn`t come home with a bruise/cut my parents wondered if i`d enjoyed myself!!

Is it me or..............

I`m back, i think.

For Sally, Zoe and pi, from my old blog. I think i`m there now, but don`t count you`re chickens !!

By the way Zed, the way you hold your head in your photo reminded me of this Goddess. What are you doing in my garden covered in moss and bird shit?

Silly me !!

I made a balls-up of deleting my first blog, and lost both of them, so i`m back for a second go.

http://lifeinthepub2.blogspot.com