Monday, 12 May 2008

Pub news, and assorted piffle!

Yesterday was a day of mirth in the Merrie Monk.

Di, our ever so nice landlady, was looking rather fetching in a red singlet(ok, i'm a creep), but she did. The weather does do this to people, and it has been particularly warm this last week.

Then Trigger came in.

"Whoa, baby, I'm yours!" he roared.

"Shut up you tw*t, I feel sick now!"

As Di was putting Triggers beer on the bar, he stroked her hand. "Get off, you tw*t!" she yelled.

The Poacher asked Di if she was cooking the nibbles for the bar."Yes, why?", she asked.

"You'd better wash you hand then." he said. "Why?"

Because Trigger's been tugging the one-eyed trowser snake before he got up!"

"STUART!"

******************************************

I have been stitched up! Keith has done this for me, to highlight my inability to learn Photoshop6!

Me

"This is what you can do when you know what you're doing!" came the accompanying jibe.

Well. I will have you know I am making progress, albeit slow, as certain people haven't offered any help to a middle aged, one-armed cripple!

If this doesn't work, nothing will! Such is life.

What do you reckon?

12 comments:

ChrisB said...

That's rubbing salt into the wound... but clever nevertheless!

Jon M said...

I reckon Trigger is a Tw*t...what is a Tw*t anyways?

PI said...

Owwww too much informatiion!!!!

Victor Mildew said...

Who's this "middle aged, one-armed cripple" then? Is it anybody I know?
==============================
Hi Pat!

Keith said...

Y'know, I am really surprised at what goes on in that pub. On Sunday lunchtime on the bar there are roast potatoes, yorkshire puds, crisps, cheese, sausages, quiche, cheesey biscuits, sheeps eyeballs, and 'sweet and sour' bat wings! All free!

It's a den of iniquity, sin and wickedness, but I love it there. I feel really at home.

Everybody there except me and John G are completely crackers; and I'm not too sure about John really!

Sylv said...

well John, if this won't spur you on to learn photoshop to pay back Keeff with a choice ID card of your creation,then nothing will):):)

....and at the same time you could create a kind of 'health hazard' one for Trigger maybe :):)

Brom said...

Red singlet?... I bet with your lovely Di it was a doublet??

© Karelian Blonde said...

It is always nice to get certified, albeit total nuts in your case. I am a quite a "case" myself so can't criticise you really ;)

And yes please, do explain what is a Tw*t! Animal, vegetable or a moron?

Mickle in NZ said...

Trigger is the only creep there, matey. A twatty creep, or a creepy twat.

Didn't your team do well!

Welcome to the mentally unfit club from a fully signed up member.

Huggles, mate

john.g. said...

Look,it's simple, a tw*t is a twat without the a!

Jayne said...

I reckon you're all bloody mad! Says it all dunnit? :-)))

john.g. said...

Jayne, yes!