Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Joke Tuesday, Double bill !

Paddy & Murphy in the jungle by a river,they see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile. Paddy says to Murphy, "Look at that flash bastard in his Lacoste sleeping bag!"


The 'Erectus Trouserus', or the trouser snake is the worlds' most dangerous snake. Colour varies from pink to black. It is fangless, and averages 5-6" in length,(although some are said to reach 8-9" depending on the owners honesty). It appears in bedrooms, usually at night, and attacks women in the mouth or lower abdominal area. It's spit is highly venomous and can cause swelling for up to 9 months!

Some mutant species have been known to attack men from behind. The odd sheep is not unheard of either!

11 comments:

Dumdad said...

Excellent!

I've been popping into your blog for the past few months but have never left a comment before (not shy just a lazy sod).

So, thanks for all the jokes and the merry banter from The Merrie Monk. I do miss pubs and so it's nice to drop in now and then for an imaginary pint.

A bientot!

john.g. said...

Dumdad, welcome to the nuthouse!

© Karelian Blonde said...

High fashion and male buggery? Eh....? Funny though :D

Karmyn R said...

Hmmm...the Erectus Trouserus - that must have been what bit me 9 months ago. It all makes sense now.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL....PERFECT! I LOVE that second one a lot! Thanks for a really good laugh today!

gemmak said...

Lol...somehow the Lacoste sleeping bag is hilarious....thanks for a smile on a bad day :o)

Sylv said...

ROFLMAO, thats a good selection again johng. Thanks for sharing them :)

Grumpy Old Bastard said...

HELL! Just wait until your vicar sees that, you will be excommunicated and de-balled!

Bloody disgusting!

PI said...

The Irish jokes are best. Cleanest too:)

sablonneuse said...

Hmm, so it's known for being dangerous is it? There was a local woman who got three years for cutting one off when it must have been attacking her sleeping (drunk) partner. She could have used your information as her defence.

john.g. said...

Gemmak, welome to lunacy!