Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Joke Tuesday!

Now that I have regained possession of my blog from Grumpy, here is todays' joke!

This was sent to me by two lovely newly weds in Australia!

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on the veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie, 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Aussie: 'The dog doesn't talk you stupid Kiwi!'

Kiwi: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Aussie, (look of extreme shock)

Kiwi: 'Does he own you?'

Dog: 'Yep.'

Kiwi: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief).

Kiwi:'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Aussie:'Uh, but he doesn't talk either....I think.'

Kiwi: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool.'

Aussie:(absolutely dumbfounded)

Kiwi: Is this your owner?

Horse: 'Yep.'

Kiwi: How are you treated

Horse:'Pretty good thanks. He rides me regularly, brushes me down and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'

Aussie:(look of amazement).

Kiwi: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?

















'He's a f*cking liar!!!'

Thanks to Wendy and Stuey.

31 comments:

ChrisB said...

Good one! It's great when friends send you jokes ;)

I also had a chuckle at Keith's post!

john.g. said...

It is Chris!

© Karelian Blonde said...

Just sooooo funny :) *LOL*

john.g. said...

Hi,KB!

MysticFirefly said...

Enjoying your blog immensely. See you around in Plurk-Land!!!

john.g. said...

Mystic, Aawwww!

Kila said...

Oh dear, the poor sheep!

Mickle in NZ said...

So nice to see the Aussies being bashed with a sheep joke instead of us! Keep it up, Matey

Mr Farty said...

What Mickle said. Nice that it's not a Scotchman with a lying sheep!

WT said...

Very funy, but it's back to front, the Kiwis are the sheep shaggers.

Karmyn R said...

ack

Dumdad said...

No comment, he said sheepishly.

Mickle in NZ said...

Mr Farty - OMG, are the scotch drinking Scots victims of sheep shagging jokes too. Hey - At least your lot get to lay down!

John.G - still laughing, dear Matey, still laughing. Huggles, Mickle xxx

fatboysblogg said...

Heard this one before John,only it was a Welshman.

#Debi said...

I, too, thought it was the Welsh who were the sheep lovers. Or those from West Virginia...

john.g. said...

You lot are terrible!!

mutleythedog said...

So what did the sheep say? I think talking animals are cool!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I must have left my sense-of-humor at the door.....I don't get it! Am I too old or something, John?
Oh Dear. This worries me!

Keith said...

Mutley - The sheep didn't say anything. Before he could "reply" the farmer said "Don't listen to him; he tells lies!"

Verstehen Sie jetzt?

#Debi said...

Nice new banner--is that a drawing of you slipping on the ice?

john.g. said...

#Debi,blame Keith!

mutleythedog said...

Naturlich schatze!!

Keith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keith said...

Mutdog - Was ist mit "schatze"? Ich verstehe Sie nicht!

Fröhliche Weihnachten
und ein gutes neues Jahr mein freund!

PI said...

I should have seen that coming. Every time!!!!

mutleythedog said...

"Darling" or "dolly" slang...not "sweety" thats "Sussi"

mutleythedog said...

oh it might be Austrian German..

Keith said...

What is the point of putting up a link to a blog that no-one but a select few can access?

Obviously they don't want grumpy old gits like me sticking my oar in!

It is a "private" blog for family and friends similar to my 'Smith Family Blog', but I don't ever put up a link to ours cos it's private.

sablonneuse said...

I just love your jokes but I can never remember them to retell.
At our old folks meal, several people got up and told what must have been very rude stories because I didn't understand the punchline but everyone else fell about laughing. However, when i asked the people near me to explain they went all coy. . . . .

Lorraine said...

Ah, here you are. Temporarily it would seem, right? I am finally conceding that after eight years of the same old, same old blogpage [meandthecat] and 11 years of what was called a weblog then [The Mousetrap], I am stumbling around trying to de-code WordPress' subtle but very neat tutorials. Hopefully a new look for the blogpage will zap to life the sagging interest in everything "computerized" -- which means I will be back to see you soon.
.
If you promise to hand over as funny a joke as the sheep knee-slapper...?
.
p.s. I just now discovered your comment on my old page...and yes I was ecstatically happy at the outcome of our election. Maybe there IS a God?? America's first black president. Anyone but that wretch I have loathed with all my being for the last 8 years! Guess who. His first name is "Dubya, the Ignorant Ape"

dubaibilly said...

Absolute class! Brilliant John, long may these jokes persist!

Cheers mate.

DB