Tuesday 19 May 2009

Don't laugh.... It's all true!



Perks of reaching old age!


  1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
  2. In a hostage situation you will be releasd first!
  3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
  4. People call at 9pm and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
  5. People no longer view you as a hypocondriac.
  6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
  8. You can eat supper at 4pm.
  9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
  10. You argue about pension plans.
  11. Speed limits are not a challenge.
  12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
  13. You sing along with elevator music.
  14. Your eyes won't get huch worse.
  15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  16. Your joints are better weather forecasters than the Met. Office.
  17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
  18. Your supply of brain cells is down to a manageable size.
  19. You've forgotten who sent you this list.




    ONE MORE THING:



Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!

8 comments:

Keith said...

Where on earth do you dig them up from? That one was doing the rounds in the 60's.

Unknown said...

Old duffers like you send them me!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

OH DEAR!!! All too true, I'm afraid....lol! A funny list, John.

ChrisB said...

The old ones are the best :)

Pat said...

I do still hold my tummy in :)

MarmiteToasty said...

Jebus, I can relate to most of those LOL

x

Unknown said...

Marmite Toasty, you are more than welcome here!

Keli said...

LOL...something for me to look forward to :P