Spanish Goth's challenge.

When Harry met Sally, Along came a Spider To Kill a Mockingbird, and Kiss the Girls. "The Untouchables, The Firm and Kelly's Heroes; Any Which Way you Can, Kill Bill!"

"Never Say Never Again, Dr. No, It's a Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad World!"

Aliens! Behind Enemy Lines.....Clear and Present Danger!

The Searchers, Saving Private Ryan, Where Eagles Dare From Russia, with love,(The Sum of all Fears).

Ice Cold from Alex Arthur,You Only Live Twice!

The Lost World:Jurassic Park and One Million Years BC, Sudden Impact!!

Debbie Does Dallas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE END!

Joke Tuesday!

A little guy is sat at the bar, when all of a sudden a thug walks in and smacks him in the face and says "That's KUNG FU from Japan." A bit later the thug smacks him again and says, "That's TAE KWON DO from Korea."

The little guy gets up and staggers out of the bar.

A short time later he comes back and smacks the thug around the head, knocking him out cold!

The little guy says to the barman." When that Tw*t wakes up, tell him that was a f*cking SHOVEL from B&Q!

A challenge!

I have been challenged by the nutter known as spanishgoth.blogspot.com/

He has asked several of us to write a post using only film titles, and the word "AND". Personally, I think he's bonkers, but that is what keeps me visiting his blog!

More soon!!

Village news!

I bring you village news, not as an item of interest, but of mirth. Years ago I used to play cricket for the local pub team. We were crap, but, although pissed when we took to the field were always up for a game. We used to meet in the Queen's Arms, just down the road from my house. "Meet at 12 o'clock." ordered the captain. Who were we to argue, after all we didn't start playing until 3 o'clock!

I digress. I have been in my wheelchair for eight years now, my Dad is 79, and now, this very day, we get a flyer through the post from the bloke who lives OPPOSITE us saying.........SOUTH LEIRE CRICKET TEAM needs you! They play a North versus South game each year during the summer festival. It is great fun, but I think we shall abstain.

You would have thought that they would have realised that we were non-starters, or do you have any other ideas?

Pub news!

Trigger had his ears syringed yesterday, and about time too, he was becoming intolerable (even more so than usual).

Anyway, in he waltzes this lunchtime,a smug grin on his chops(mouth, for the not-in-the-know). Di came to serve him.

Trigger:"Hello, sexy!"

Di: "Hello, Tw*t, pedigree?"

Trigger:"Yes please darling. I love it when you're nice to me."

Di:"Don't hold your breath!"

Enter Charlie, a recent addition to the bar staff. Charlie is a lovely girl and being a carer is very tolerant of Trigger.

Charlie: "Hello Trigger, how are the ears today?"

Trigger: "Eh?"

A week or so ago Charlie's mum reversed into her car, denting the passenger door quite badly. She did mention it to Trigger at the time so she thought she would update him on the progress so far.

Charlie:"My car went to the garage for assessment today."

Trigger:"Eh?"

Me: "For f*cks sake Trigger, you've only just had your ears syringed! What did they do, blast it all out from one side?"

Trigger:"Eh?"

I gave up, everyone was smirking,Trigger drank up and went home non the wiser. He always has been a bit mutton jeff!

And, no, he wasn't taking the piss!

Joke Tuesday.

PEST CONTROL.

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were making mad,passionate love in the bedroom when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick', said the woman to the lover,'Into the closet!' In she pushed him, stark naked.

The husband,however,became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

'Who the hell are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from BUGS-B-GONE ,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asks the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said,














' Those little bastards!'

Leire church flower festival.

This is held every year, and this year the subject is "Remember Me".

My 'Sister',Lindsay did all the arrangements you see in dedication of my late Mother, who introduced Lindsay to flower arranging.

Enjoy the show!

The festival runs until Monday. I hope you liked the arrangements, my Mum would have been proud of 'SIS'!

Champions of Europe!

Champions of Europe again!

That is all, 'nuff said!

Garden news.

It's that time of year when everything is coming into life. These are from the front garden.

What's this called?

Here's a close-up for you, and a clue, it's got thorns like you wouldn't believe!

Another of Dads favourites, the Hosta. We have all sorts of different colours/shapes.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Di reversed into Jezs' car the other day. It's only a great big 4x4!

Joke Tuesday, Double bill !

Paddy & Murphy in the jungle by a river,they see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile. Paddy says to Murphy, "Look at that flash bastard in his Lacoste sleeping bag!"

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The 'Erectus Trouserus', or the trouser snake is the worlds' most dangerous snake. Colour varies from pink to black. It is fangless, and averages 5-6" in length,(although some are said to reach 8-9" depending on the owners honesty). It appears in bedrooms, usually at night, and attacks women in the mouth or lower abdominal area. It's spit is highly venomous and can cause swelling for up to 9 months!

Some mutant species have been known to attack men from behind. The odd sheep is not unheard of either!