More of my youthful tomfoolery for your delight!
This is me and Marion, Rogers girlfriend.Nothing fishy, before you start!
Roger in drag for New Years Eve. He was tragically killed about 6 years ago, aged 35, doing what he loved: riding bikes.RIP mate!
More silliness, and as you can see Charlie's at the front line!
This is Cockeye. I don't know where the name came from, or for that matter where he is now!
My good mate Charlie sent me these photos he'd stumbled across
They are from around 1983 ish. A New Years eve party
I don't know who this is, for obvious reasons!
I'm in the background, so it wasn't me! That's Rat in the foregound
This is me and Paul recovering from a spraying!
This is me being an arse. Nikki is in the background.
I think we had a good night!!
Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard,(oh, hell, i cant say that, Political Correctness you understand! Well BOLLOCKS!) 'Does anyone know what this is?'
Johnny says, 'My dad has two of them, a small one for weeing out of, and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth!'
An octopus walks into a bar and says, 'I can play ANY instrument you like.'
The Englishman gives it a guitar which he plays better than Jimi Hendrix. The Irishman gives it a piano, which he plays better than Elton John. The Scotsman throws it a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles around for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says, 'What's wrong, can ye no play it?'
The octopus says, 'Play it? I'm going to f*ck her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!!'
My Sister took these in our back garden last week
It makes the garden so much brighter to have late winter blooms out
Any guesses as to what they are?
Here's an easy one for you!
We have had a death in the family.
Our budgie died last night. Benji gave us both a lot of fun, as he was a real character.
On other subjects,we have a new telly in the pub. I am chuffed. This means I can ignore Keith on Sunday,after buying his beer and let him talk to Nikki!
A laugh for you finally. Trigger came in. Always an opening for something, and he didn't disappoint! Di, apparently is a mixture of German and Welsh parentage. Trigger said that was a hell of a mixture, and explained a lot of things. Di, after belting him said that it was better than having TWAT in your parentage!
Nice one Di!!
Oh, my word. Not the words I uttered when I walked into the pub this lunchtime. 'Di, who's nicked the f*cking telly?!'
Apparently the Poacher was sat at the bar yesterday afternoon watching the telly, and it fell off the wall!!I would have paid thousands to see the Poachers face as the T.V. exploded on the floor in front of him!!
It's a good job no-one was playing darts, as the 'ochey is under the telly!
Women, eh?
What are you like?
And then, they wont take it up the A*SE! And why?
Because it f*ucking HURTS
Paah!
I'm off !
Obe Wan has found and restored ALL of my computer! Vista, apparently has its own back-up system. Just in case, i've backed up the important stuff though!
I am thoroughly happy!
I feared the worst!The Death Star has killed my computer to death!
Windows offered me an update for their media player:'IMPORTANT', it said. I use media player quite a lot, so I installed it. No problems. Windows shuts down after installation , then re-boots.
Only it didn't. Nothing. Jack Shit! So I phoned Obe Wan up.
Obe Wan came round, armed with lap-top and all sorts of info from the 'net....Did anything work? No!
Aaahh well,we/he re-installs Vista, the whole shooting match!
Amazingly, when Vista was re-installed, 90% of my files had been saved as 'Windows Old'.Obe Wan was able to transfer them across to the new files.
I'm sure this little fellow was helping!
Obe Wan will be back next week to tidy things up, and hopefully find my Tiger Woods golf game!
In the meantime, I'm off for a read!
John has had a major crash. No, not him, his computer has gone pffft! So he might be off the net for a while.
After trying to update Vista a major fault occured, and now Windows wont even start up. His pet computer guru is working on the problem at the moment, so with a bit of luck he should be back on soon.
I have a worse, but funnier one than this, but it involves anal sex. If you want to read it next Tuesday let me know. The majority wins.
Dr. Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt really guilty. No matter how much he tried, the sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice saying, 'Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with a patient, and you wont be the last! You are single, so just let it go.'
But invariably a voice would bring him back to reality, whispering.........'Dave, you're a f*cking VET!'
We had a giggle today, Di, our lovely landlady was playing the quiz machine. Deal or No deal it's called?
She was doing well, asking me the odd question here and there. I answered when I could, with Jez helping too.
Then Trigger arrived.
By the time we had clicked on the answer, he was half-way through the question! Still, he got the short sport questions right!!
Trigger asked Di why she kept playing.
'There's 20p left in there, and I always go all the way!'
Splutter.
'Don't you blog this!!'
'Blog what?', I said.
Don't you just love this place?
I am a muppet! My blog was ONE last week. I am chuffed.
I completely forgot.
I have come a long way, not only with my computer ability, but general blogging techniques, and I have a list of helpers who have contributed to the drivel you currently read!
ALL OF YOU, EVERY LAST ONE!!
Thank-you!
This is my 'sister', Lindsey. She calls my father, Dad, so that makes her and her husband Graeham, family. I love her like a sister, and he is a star, albeit Welsh, but hey, nobody's perfect!
She is a DIY merchant, and will tackle anything,including, as you can see, plastering!
Add to this, gardening, plumbing, electronics.........and being a mum!Love you Sis, Bro 2, and Dad 2, xx.
A trucker has been on the road for three weeks solid. Exhausted, he stops at a brothel.
He drops £500 on the table, and demands the ugliest woman in the house and a bacon sandwich.
The owner says,"Sir, for that amount, you can have my finest lady and a three course meal."
The man replies, "I'm not horny, I'm f*cking homesick!!"
Oh yes, they were all there! Nikki, Charlie, Keith, Steve, and Nipper. All intent of one objective.My humiliation!
I got out of my wheelchair, picked my crutch up(don't even go there!), to go for a pee. And I get a collective chorus of'It's a miracle! He walks!
What say you about that treatment?
Trigger came in today, it's a half day for him on Friday. We were watching the cricket from South Africa.
Trigger,'At least it's not golf! If I'd have been born rich instead of good looking, I wouldn't be here.'
What do you reckon?
