Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Joke Tuesday. Double bill.

Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard,(oh, hell, i cant say that, Political Correctness you understand! Well BOLLOCKS!) 'Does anyone know what this is?'
Johnny says, 'My dad has two of them, a small one for weeing out of, and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth!'

An octopus walks into a bar and says, 'I can play ANY instrument you like.'
The Englishman gives it a guitar which he plays better than Jimi Hendrix. The Irishman gives it a piano, which he plays better than Elton John. The Scotsman throws it a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles around for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says, 'What's wrong, can ye no play it?'

The octopus says, 'Play it? I'm going to f*ck her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!!'


© Karelian Blonde said...

*ROARING LAUGHTER* I do love seafood :)

Anonymous said...

Whilst I knew the first one already,the second one is really forward worthy:) it's a good end to a shitty day,THANKS John!

sablonneuse said...

Did he think he was pulling Octopussy then?

ChrisB said...

Hilarious :) :) :)

Beccy said...

Brilliant, never heard the first one.