Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Women, eh?

What are you like?

  1. Boob jobs
  2. Nose jobs
  3. Teeth bleaching
  4. Tummy tucks
  5. Liposuction
  6. Colonic Irrigation
  7. Botox
  8. Pierced ears
  9. Pierced nipples
  10. Pierced belly buttons
  11. Pierced vaginas
  12. Eye brows plucked
  13. Bikini wax
  14. Armpit shaved
  15. Lips tattoed
  16. Arms tattoed
  17. Legs tattoed
  18. Tits tattoed
  19. Legs waxed
  20. Lengthy diets
  21. Strenuous exercise
  22. Childbirth.

And then, they wont take it up the A*SE! And why?

Because it f*ucking HURTS


I'm off !


Anonymous said...

oh that is sooooooooooooooo lame :) :) but well worth a good laff:)

© Karelian Blonde said...

:) Oh my! I expected far worse from you John!

I will own up to numbers 8, 12, 16 and 18 but rest is wayyyy too much pain to imagine on my delicate (?)frame. Not to mention up the proverbial ;)

ChrisB said...

Ok I'm laughing satisfied ! :)

Beccy said...

I can't believe my mother is laughing!!!

Honestly John!

P.S. I thought there was a rise in anal sex and not all in homosexual relationships as well!

john.g. said...

Beccy, you're more in the know than me then!I don't really take an interest!

Wendy Ascham said...

I just hope that the vicar of your church doesn't read your blog John.

Who said it hurts anyway?

john.g. said...

Wendy, I wouldn't know the vicar of our church if I fell over it!

Well, does it?

Wendy Ascham said...

That would be telling.

john.g. said...


Z said...

Bring it on, dear heart, bring it on...

Mr Farty said...

John is definitely back!

Jayne said...

So nice to see you back :-)
I wonder if there's a list out there about men being wussies when it comes to having a cold........hehehe!

sablonneuse said...

So that was 'it' then. Well I reckon if your female readers can go through all that they can certainly take a joke. As for me I can only tick off 14, 20 and 22. That's quite enough (but I did have a good laugh).

Anonymous said...


when they have a cold you can just as well order the carpenter to come and take measurings for their coffin :) ;)

Ariel said...

While I can tick off some of the items on your list but not all, I have to disagree with the final statement. It is actually quite funny I have come across this today, after having an enlightened conversation in bed last night. "Anal sex needs preparation", I said. "What? Two fingers not enough?", he replied. You can guess how the rest went, with me making a case for lube and toys while he listened, baffled. Not enough preparation = pain. Lube + toys = heavenly pleasure. I guess some people - male and female - just need a little extra sex education, and a visit to their local sex shop!

john.g. said...

Ariel, hello petal, good to hear from you!!

Sylv, BEHAVE!!

Sandy, LOL!

zoe said...

I could tick off about 6 on your list but all that because anal sex HURTS?

New to me.

john.g. said...

Zoe, I shall have to check with your twat! xx

Brom said...

John, your last comment is funnier than the post!!!!

Innocent old gent said...

Fucking disgusting! *storms out, slamming the door*

#Debi said...

I have to agree with brom!
*adds to list of sentences not to be taken out of context*

john.g. said...

Hee, hee, I didn't see that coming!!