Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Joke Tuesday.

10 Downing Street
London SW1

Dear People of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown


This is true!

9 comments:

ChrisB said...

Where do you find them LOL

john.g. said...

Hi, Chris!

Keith said...

Hmmm. . . .Not half as funny as tomorrows post! Can't wait!

Watch this blogpage folks.

Blazing said...

Ooh, a Keith special :)

Sorry John...

Keith said...

Blazing - No, not by me. This special post will be from John. All I can say is that if Di reads it, he will be wheeled out to the carpark at the back of the pub and shot; or even worse!

Anonymous said...

I can see that Gordon B with be sending a few big lads with baseball bats round to your house!

#Debi said...

I think your boy Gordon must've thought this one up with the help of Obama, since the same scheme seems to be coming our way...

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Ha! Unfortunately, a worldwide sentiment towards those not in the upper echelon! A good one, John!

Have a wonderful weekend! :))

Kila said...

LMAO! Good one.