This heather bed was planted 34 years ago, the plants originating from North Wales, half spring, half winter flowering.
This heather bed was planted about the same time, but is soley spring/summer plants.
More as the season unfolds. We are promised milder weather this week, so things should start bursting out with a vengeance!
This lunchtime has been mad.
It all started with Trigger getting whacked by Di, for, well, being Trigger!
Trigger,"Di, you're all in blue,are you playing for Leicester City today?"
Di, "Are you a natural twat, or do you practice?"
Me," He doesn't practise Di, it's all natural."
Trigger, "You can f*ck off Ironside"
I put the boxing highlights from last night on, as I know the lads enjoy it.
Trigger, "What's this?"
The Poacher,"Rugby!"
Trigger, "You twat I meant what fight is it!
The Poacher, "It's a boxing fight."
Trigger, to Jez, "Is this place full of complete arseholes, or is it just me?"
Jez,"It's just you, Trigger!"
Trigger, "Bollocks."
Next, I put the qualifying for the Moto G.P. (bike racing for those not in the know) on.
Trigger, "Who's winning?"
Me, "It's qualifying, the race is tomorrow."
Trigger, "Yes, but who's winning?
Me, "Trigger, NOBODY is winning, the race is tomorrow!"
By this time, I had given up all hope, and Trigger went on his merry way. No doubt battle will be resumed tomorrow lunch.
The race starts at 1.00pm. I hope Trigger's gone by then!
This is the best advert Viagara could ever have!
HELL!
I think I might try this Viagara.
Can any of you ladies do handstands?
My Father was watching the France-v-England football match last night. I was playing golf on the computer, so only glancing at the telly in between shots/holes.
I swiftly came to the conclusion that Fathers favourite word in the world of football, is ;
PATHETIC!
I must have heard this at least 40 times!
What is your favourite word?
MANS' BEST FRIEND!
A dog is truly mans' best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk/boot of your car for an hour, and when you let them out, see which one is really pleased to see you!!
A bloke goes to the doctors having problems with premature ejaculation. He is told that when he feels the ejaculation coming on, to give himself a fright by firing a starter pistol in the air. This will prolong sex.
Two days later the doctor sees him again.
"How did it go?" asks the doctor. "Not good," he said.
We were in a 69, when I felt the urge, so I fired the gun. My wife shit in my face, bit the end off my cock, and the milkman came out of the wardrobe with his hands up!"
We had a nostalgia lunchtime today. Sometimes it's good to reminisce! Keith came over, which was a bit of a surprise,as I thought his daughter was coming for Sunday lunch. Keith is a welcome addition to the Gang , who have made him part of our 'set' on a Sunday.
This is ' LE TERMINUS ',a superb bar/cafe in the centre of Arcachon. This was our base.
From breakfast time,(6 oysters and a pint of lager) at 11 a.m, we set out to the nudist beach. We didn't know it was a nudist beach, but if you pronounced it phonetically, it sounded like bollicky buff!
More tales may follow, if you wish!
A PLAY, IN A PUB, OVER A LUNCHTIME!
ACT 1
When I arrived the Poacher and the Bush are already there. They have been fly-fishing for trout, but after catching a couple each, the wind got too strong. And the pub opened!
"Di", said Bush,"Why are you warming your arse in front of the fire? It isn't lit!"
"Jez has this long thing, but I can't find it", she protests."Pardon?!" came the reply."A long thing to light the fire."
"Right." said Bush. The Poacher lit the fire,and all was well. Then Di, once we had all been served, sat in front of the fire, thus blocking the heat emanating from said fire.
ACT 2
"Di", asks Bush. "If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"
"Forty-five next month, why?" She said. "I'd never have said that age", said Bush. "How old do you think?" said Di. "A well worn thirty-eight", said Bush, ducking!
ACT 3
Di hadn't sussed it, but we had staggered our drinking so that when she had filled someones glass, then parked herself in front of the fire someone else wanted another pint. "Bloody hell! I've just served you lot!"
"Not me ,Di, that was Don." I said. Besides, I'll settle up with you now."
THE END.
PUB NEWS.
I must have been reasonably well behaved today, as I didn't get slapped by Di. I must be slacking, and will have to try harder! I think it's because her parents were visiting. I had a good chat with her Dad. He seems really nice, so I asked Di where her violent tendencies came from.
"My Dad, he was a right firebrand!"
I'd better watch out methinks!
Also, finally the damn beer's gone up 10p a pint! Bloody budget. Mind you, it wont bother me, except i'll probably have to subsidise Keith . You know what some 'elder' buggers are like! LOL.
This was a surprise in the garden yesterday.
These are Red-legged French Partridge, or Frenchmen to the country folk, like wot I is! They are usually a field dwelling bird living in covies , but at the start of the mating season appear to lose their marbles, and turn up anywhere.
I wish I'd still got my gun, Partridge are one of my favourite meats!
