Thursday, 20 March 2008

Pub news.

A PLAY, IN A PUB, OVER A LUNCHTIME!

ACT 1

When I arrived the Poacher and the Bush are already there. They have been fly-fishing for trout, but after catching a couple each, the wind got too strong. And the pub opened!

"Di", said Bush,"Why are you warming your arse in front of the fire? It isn't lit!"

"Jez has this long thing, but I can't find it", she protests."Pardon?!" came the reply."A long thing to light the fire."

coal fire

"Right." said Bush. The Poacher lit the fire,and all was well. Then Di, once we had all been served, sat in front of the fire, thus blocking the heat emanating from said fire.

ACT 2

"Di", asks Bush. "If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"

"Forty-five next month, why?" She said. "I'd never have said that age", said Bush. "How old do you think?" said Di. "A well worn thirty-eight", said Bush, ducking!

ACT 3

Di hadn't sussed it, but we had staggered our drinking so that when she had filled someones glass, then parked herself in front of the fire someone else wanted another pint. "Bloody hell! I've just served you lot!"

"Not me ,Di, that was Don." I said. Besides, I'll settle up with you now."

THE END.









12 comments:

Jayne said...

First!!!!!!!!

Bugger, now I've forgotten what I was going to say!

p.s. Any more photos of the garden.........please?

Freezing Fred said...

First, and a bit!

It was bloody cold in that pub today. What with Di blocking the fire and the door was open.

Why all the exclaimations marks Jayne? We heard you the first time!

Mr Farty said...

John, I know you emailed me with the answer to your daft question, but your other fans must be on tenterhooks...do share. Please.

Mickle in NZ said...

Fun times in the pub - excellent stuff!

PI said...

At this time of year a pub with no fire is like a pub with no beer. IMO! (Just the one ((exclamation mark)) for MR Grumps.)
I think Jayne's comment is typical of the deep soul searching debate we get on this blog. I love it.
Gas poker?

john.g. said...

Mr. Farty, Keith gave the answer. Pay attention!

Mickle, get your blog sorted!

Mum2, I remember the old gas pokers!

Jayne, when it stops snowing and things start growing, I shall post photos! HELL! I'm a poet and didn't know it!

john.g. said...

Mr. F, Try March 14th's comments.

Jon M said...

Careful you'll be reported to the National Society for the protection of Barmaids

Anonymous said...

"Barmaids"? You mean "serving wenches" don't you?

Mr Farty said...

Ah. My bad.

I had Keswick, Knock and Kilmarnock, btw ;-)

© Karelian Blonde said...

I feel for Di! You go girl :)

Jayne said...

I shall tone down my exclamation marks.
Hasn't the guvmunt found a way to tax snow yet?
(nice 'n sunny here btw hehehe)