Thursday, 14 August 2008

Pub news.

This is really exciting for me, because after Di has read this there maybe no future posts!

caravan

Jez and our ever-so-lovely landlady Di went away last weekend in their newly acquired caravan.(I'm sure I mentioned it.)

As with any operation of this nature the plans have to be laid down with military precision. Tasks have to be allocated to various people. Being a two person excursion (and the push-me-pull-you), this should have been a doddle.

The allocated responsibilities were as follows:

Jez, the entire running of the caravan and car: fuel, gas bottles, maintainence, tyre pressures,water,washer bottles,security hitch-up, etc.pots and pans

Di, dog, food for all, pots and pans, clothes, etc. Simple!.......err, no!






When they arrived and pitched camp, so to speak, it was food time! Something, however was missing.

cutlery






The cutlery!

Not a knife,fork or spoon to be seen! Coffee was measured using an egg cup!

It's the next part that will seal my fate. The washing up!

Right, picture the scenario. Di, our ever- so- lovely landlady is at the sink where she belongs slaving away, washing away the remains of some pasta sauce. (The plates, so i'm told are a semi-translucent glass,very nice), anyway, Di says to Jez,"These plates stain easily, I've been scrubbing this one for ages!"

Jez went to have a look."The plates are stuck together, that stuff is on the bottom one!"

Please say nice things at my funeral. I may survive until I leave, as I don't pay up until I leave!

31 comments:

Dumdad said...

Looks like you're all washed up, mate!

john.g. said...

Dumdad, I know, but it was fun!

ChrisB said...

You are dead meat for sure LOL

john.g. said...

Thanks Chris!

The nice old gentleman said...

Heh! heh! I hope she gives you a bloody good thrashing. It couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.

Don't look to me for sympathy, I wouldn't be able to do anything for laughing!

And I thought it was going to be a crap day, but it's turned out nice again.

mutleythedog said...

I have some green camping plates which are exactly the same as that...

Sally Lomax said...

Brilliant!

Beccy said...

Lol

Hope you're still alive John

SpanishGoth said...

wow - that reminds me, I must visit the monkeys in Chester Zoo

Sylv said...

I'd offer you asylum,if you manage to scarper off quickly enough to escape a meat cleaver waving Di:):)

sablonneuse said...

I just hope your wheelchair is jet-propelled so you can go faster than Di.

Mickle in NZ said...

For the next wee while just ensure Triggger is physically between your good self and Di - then he will get all the bashes and you can enjoy the free Sunday grub

Huggles and love, xxx

john.g. said...

Keith, wait 'till Sunday!

Mutts, you know the feeling then?

Sally, ta!

Beccy, at the moment, yes! Di hasn't read the blog yet!

Goth, you mean Twycross zoo!

Sylv and Sandy, I may need help with the propulsion!

Mickle, I might try that tomorrow!

zoe said...

As long as she didn't forget the cork-screw, who needs cutlery?

john.g. said...

Zoe, that is soooo typical of you!!

Karmyn R said...

haha! Poor Di...forget one thing.

Mr Farty said...

Well John, it's been nice knowing you!

john.g. said...

Thanks, Mr. F!

fatboysblogg said...

Made me laugh,you'll be ok John.

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

You have the greatest sense of humor, John! Your blog is a treasure trove!

PI said...

Maybe she won't find out. Keith would never tell her would he?
BTW- I know it's late but look alike: Val Morrison and Captain Manwaring.

nice old gentleman said...

PAT - You can bet your last £ that Di will find out, and I will make sure she does on Sunday!

john.g. said...

Mum2, who the hell is Val Morrison?

Keith, you're a bastard!

Petra, you've seen only bits!

Fatboy, she hasn't read it yet!

gemmak said...

LMAO!!! As a regular camper (the tough way tho, motorbike and tent) I love this story and I can well imagine the scenario!...I'll say something nice at the funeral! ;o)

john.g. said...

Hi, Gemmak, and welcome to the nuthouse!

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Hi John, Thank you for stopping by.
The plant is a plumeria. Beautiful
isn't it? Oh, John, if you'd like,
on "Whose Role...?", I post a mini-
script each week to vote for the actors for the roles. Uma Thurman is up for the Journalist. I didn't show she was so well endowed!

Ricardipus said...

If I find any body parts here, I'll mail 'em back to the pub to be put on display.

Always thinking of others, me.

Ricardipus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ricardipus said...

Sorry, that was me, double-posted my comment somehow.

PI said...

John: Van Morrison is an Irish singer. If you google him and click on the Wikipedia one - about fourth down - see the photo on the right? That's what I'm talking about.

john.g. said...

mum2, I know all about VAN morrison, it was VAL morrison that confused me! lol!