Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Joke Tuesday.

This weeks joke is courtesy of our genial landlord JEZ.

I think he may have me in mind!!

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St. Patrick's day. Mick, the bartender says,"You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.

Paddy replies,"OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins round on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face." Shoite", he says and pulls himself up using the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite,shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air,feels much better and steps out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus.......I'm fockin' foocked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the doorframe,opens the door and wriggles inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No fockin' way".

He eventually crawls upstairs and into his room, takes another step and falls into bed,"Fock it", he says

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room with a cup of coffe and says,"Get up Paddy. Did you have a drink last night?"

Paddy says, "Yes I did Jess, I was foockin' pissed. But how did you know?"
















"Mick phoned.....you left your wheelchair at the pub!"


Cheers JEZ, you bastard!! LOL!!

28 comments:

Sylv said...

FIRST!

Awesome joke;)

Keith said...

SECOND!

Drop the 'Oirish' accent, and it is deninitely you!

Did you noticed that I had hacksawed half-way through your crutch when you were at the bar?

john.g. said...

Bastard!

John said...

"deninitely"? That last Coke must have been strong!

Grumpy Keith said...

I told you not to mention that I was on the strong stuff! ****hole!

john.g. said...

I did'nt!

Grumpy Keith said...

If you are still reading this god-awful blog John W, can you go the Messenger again? I want to ask you something.

Keith Smith said...

I was talking to John G about the coke!

john.g. said...

Snort!!

Keith said...

Shit! I must be pissed!

I meant "I was talking to John W about the coke"

Will one of you PLEASE change your name before I go mad!

Grumpy Keith said...

Right, John G, you can now delete the last 7 comments. I have established contact with John W on "Messenger" where we can talk about you without you seeing! Blah!

Grumpy Keith said...

Right, John G, you can now delete the last 7 comments. I have established contact with John W on "Messenger" where we can talk about you without you seeing! Blah!

Grumpy Keith said...

sodding computers! Bah!

john.g. said...

Wadda'ya mean, before!!

My comment hasn't got Johns photo next to it and my comments have Johng next to them and , when addressed to you always end in TWAT!

Mr Farty said...

Sorry, is this a private comments box?

*scarpers*

Mickle in NZ said...

Aww, good to see you boys playing so nicely together.

Thanks Jez, great joke

© Karelian Blonde said...

Still laughing...*LOL* Just brilliant :)

Minx said...

Dreadful joke - but very funny!

ChrisB said...

Oh dear LOL it's funny :)

Brom said...

AS the firewall here stripped off the picture, I pondered a while trying to "get it"... then scrolled down to find the punchline!

Very good

PI said...

Those big spaces get me every time. Thank you for the price of coal or was it gas. Try as I might I couldn't open it. I'm beginning to feel a bit incompetent
All is not lost - I remember now I asked you to delete when I couldn't control the thing slipping and there was a big space. Do you remember now?

john.g. said...

Yes, Mum2! I remember!xx

sablonneuse said...

Thank goodness for your terrific sense of humour johng!

Z said...

I'd leve a comment byt I am resolved not to correct typos today and I've just finished the second glassful. I laughed, though. Like a drain.

Jayne said...

That has to rank as a serious contender for Best Blogging Joke seriously! Absolutely bloody classic & it was only the accent that put me off thinking that it was based on you *ahem* :-)))

john.g. said...

Jayne, glad you giggled!

z, easy on the wine!

BarbaraS said...

Oh that's a gud 'un!

Jeannie said...

My Irish-American hubby (and no one is as Irish as an Irish-American), appreciated that joke greatly.