Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Joke Tuesday, double bill !

If you are religious,please forgive me. On second thoughts, DON'T!

A priest kept chickens at his village parish. One evening the cock went missing.

At mass the priest asked, "who has a cock?" All the men got up.

No, I meant who has seen a cock." All the women got up.

No,no,Who has seen a cock that isn't their's."

Half the women got up.

Oh, for goodness sake, who's seen my cock?!

All the choir boys stood up!



A nun gets on a bus that's empty except for the driver.

She says,'I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I do, but I must remain a virgin so it must be anal. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single, can you fulfil my wish?"

He fulfils her wish.

Then, feeling guilty the driver says,"I'm sorry,I lied, I'm married with three kids."

'That's ok." Said the nun, 'I lied too, my name is Barry, and I'm going to a fancy dress party!'

24 comments:

© Karelian Blonde said...

*ROARING* The first one made me laugh out loud here at work :D

Karmyn R said...

ha ha -

The first one reminds me of another joke that is similar. I am going to have to try and remember it - then I'll e-mail.

katy said...

bloody hell I have only just got me computer up an running and now its full of me cup of tea!

ChrisB said...

Good job I wasn't drinking when I read these LOL

john.g. said...

KB, blog spying at work?!

Karmyn, look forward to it.

Katy, sorry!

Chris, I'm glad too, can't afford a new coputer!

john.g. said...

Chris, computer!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...I've heard the second one, before, but not the first!

Humor, they say, is based in truth....OR, a little bit of truth....So, being able to laugh at ourselves and the foibles of the world...well, it does lighten the load, doesn't it?

john.g. said...

Old lady, if I have put a smile on your face then my job is done!

Mr Farty said...

John, you are a filthy get!

Any more? Please!!

Duck said...

my favourite day of the week. LOFLMFAO

Jon M said...

Ace! what more can one say?!

Mickle in NZ said...

Thank you, thank you

You have me "double grinning", not only at my laughter, but that the connection let me see it,and respond!

Love and huggles - remember, my drink is a half of decently dry cider. one day, John G, one day

Mickle xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PI said...

Chickens here chickens there - chickens every bloomin' where!
BTW I'm going to be a born again virgin.

john.g. said...

Mickle, you'll have pint or nothing!

Mum2,?

jonm,'tis a pleasure!

Duck, LOL, thank you, but the boys better get tonight sorted!

Mr. F, for sure!

sablonneuse said...

They were really funny. Thanks for the laugh. Now I've got to work out how to translate them for my French friend. She appreciates a good joke too.

phoenix said...

Hullooo lol
how wierd, my post I finally got round to writing today was also religious, but not quite in the same way hee hee xx

john.g. said...

Phoenix! I'd almost given up hope!

phoenix said...

Never give up hope John it doesn't suit you. I've just been having fun and barely stopped to breathe. That and my hard drive broke and I had to save up to have it fixed lol (at least they saved my itunes phew)x

meredic said...

I think you are right to swerve clear of forgiveness!
can see how Sandy might translate the second one but the first is going to be a real beast.

headless chicken said...

I think you are terribly rude!:)

Grumpy Git said...

I liked the second one, but I'm afraid you will have to explain the first one to me on Sunday. And probably to Nikki as well. Aw.... HELL!

a friend said...

BTW everybody-peeps, HELL! is Nikki's favourite expression.

Just in case you were wondering.....

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Hey John.g...I know the second Bird is a Red Tailed Hawk...But that first one...Flying off the tree and getting ready to fly is something else...But I'm not not sure wgat...Randall said he thinks it is a Golden Eagle....It very well could be.....
I see Red Tailed Hawks here all the time and I think they are BEAUTIFUL...!

john.g. said...

Old lady, Randall is probablly right.