Friday, 18 April 2008

Pub News.

It was Di's birthday on Wednesday, so I thought I would make a poster for her.

"This is my chance to use Photoshop 6", I thought. Three hours later, after annoying my Dad with some pretty language, and getting absolutely nowhere, I went on to Amazon and bought a book on how to use the f*cking thing!

Yesterday, I used Word,and in half an hour a poster was created!???

Today my work of art went on display. She hit me! All because I said on the poster that I couldn't find anyone, apart from Charlie(her beloved dog), and Jez, her beloved better other half, to give her a birthday kiss! I even put a photo of Charlie on the poster for her. What sort of treatment is this?

Maybe it was I said that I would ask Trigger on Saturday at the bottom of the poster that did it!

He came in today an read the poster."Come here,darling, I'll show you what a kiss is." he trumpeted.

"You Twat, you come near me and I'll show you what a smack in the gob is!"

Comments on my treatment.

15 comments:

Annie said...

Any chance of a pic of Charlie?

john.g. said...

Annie, welcome to the madhouse!
Go to 6th December 2007, and you will see Charlie. Down the right side-bar.

ChrisB said...

So don't we get to see this masterpiece!!

john.g. said...

Chris, I'll get a photo.

© Karelian Blonde said...

Yep, need to see the image before I can comment.

Sylv said...

You couln't have offered a birthday kiss to her yourself? After all, with all the hubbub and disruption poor Di has to put up with this group of youse, it's the least you could have done!

:p :p :p

Brom said...

Photoshop - pah! Hate the bloody thing!

SpanishGoth said...

Oooo - I will leave a bat in her belfry on my coming Gothic Tour

Jayne said...

I think we have to see the poster before commenting, but in your defense John, tell Di she's forbidden from smacking anyone in a wheelchair or on crutches, unless of course it's Trigger!

Wendy Ascham said...

I know somebody who frequents your pub and deserves a "smack in the gob!". Wheelchair, crutches, guide dog or whatever; makes no difference.

headless chicken said...

As Jayne says, must see the poster before commenting!
Love your penis poem.
The word penis....it sounds so much ruder than any of the slang words that are used for the same thing. Izzy informed me the other day that "the proper word for a ladies front-bottom is a vagina" and I was really embarassed!

Beccy said...

I too want to see the poster...please:-)

Duck said...

yes, poster please.

Mr Farty said...

Yup, show me the funny!

PI said...

Look forward to seeing it before deciding but it was nice of you to take the trouble.