Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Poem Tuesday!

Now, that surprised you, didn't it? A poem!

One condition here. This poem, IN NO WAY REFERS TO ME!

Ok, here goes.

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring.

But now i've got a full time job to find the f*cking thing.

It used to be embarrassing the way it would behave. For every single morning it would stand and watch me shave.

Now, as old age approaches it sure gives me the blues, to see it hang its head and watch me tie my shoes!

Not me


PI said...

No that was obviously written by someone in his eighties or nineties. Is that how you spell 90's?

© Karelian Blonde said...

Oh dear...*LOL* It is soooo funny but it shouldn't be :)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious,but thats just equality, what happens to us girls shall happen to you boys too:) e.g everything turning south:)

Thanks for the chuckle!

sablonneuse said...

Hilarious - but, unfortunately true. (My husband is 80 so I speak from experience)

ChrisB said...

Absolutely hilarious LOL~ old age never comes alone!! :)

Cailleach said...

Goodness me, I came over here for some light relief from the poetry world and I find more of it here... ;)

Oh well - I'll settle for humorous: cheered me up no end!

Is this going to become a regular occurance?!?

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...A Good One, john.g....But of course that isn't you! You are much too young for this poem to be an autobigraphical one....LOL!

Loved your comment on my blog!
Indeed, "shellshocked"....lol!

katy said...

LOL you got this one to look forward to then!
just want to let you know that I am taking a break for a while, hope to be back, till then byeeeeeeeeeeee x

john.g. said...

Cailleach, sadly,no. As I didn't make it up in the first place!

I'm glad you all enjoyed!

Jon M said...

Nice one but...why are you tying your shoelaces when you're stark bollock naked?

Minx said...

There once was a man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

john.g. said...

Minx, lol!

Mr Farty said...

If only there were someone on t'internet who was willing to sell you, I mean him, some Viagra!

Cailleach said...

I've got a joke for you!

It was rubbish collection day, and the bin men called at a dingle house, which seemed to be empty.
"Where's yer bin?" shouted the baggie refuse collection operative.
A rather flustered looking gentleman appeared from an upstairs window.
"I bin in the bathroom mate" he replied.
"Nah....wher's yer dustbin?"
"I just bin in the bathroom" the dingle said again...very red in the face.
"Nah! where's yer wheelie bin" shouted the baggie
"Oh all right then.....I wheelie been havin a w**k!!

sablonneuse said...

Anyone remember this one from schooldays?

My friend Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.
She hit it with a rake
'Cos she thought it was a snake
And now it's only five foot four.

Wendy A said...

I can assure you that the poem certainly doesn't relate to Keith, he can still hold his own in any situation!

Wendy A said...

Yes, I've got his Keiths laptop while he's in Kendal (he didn't like to leave it at home; too many burgulars at Shilton!), and boy, am I having fun with it!

PI said...

Keith is still only in his 70's I think - he's but a lad. Seriously it varies from person to person and even the lustiest person can be affected by medication. Make hay whilst the sun shines say I - within reason.

Beccy said...

I've missed you John!

john.g. said...

Whose fault is that, Beccy!

Jayne said...

Crikey John, I haven't heard that poem for years! Made me smile tho' so thank you :-)

Guyana-Gyal said...

You never heard of Charlie Mattress, huh? He died at age 90-something and *according to the story* his last child was 6 years old or some young age, when he died.

Personally, I think they exaggerated. But you never know...

Guyana-Gyal said...

Oh, and I don't even remember how many children he had...lots and lots.