Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Joke Tuesday .

MEN'S PEARLS OF WISDOM
  1. When I was born, I was given a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I forgot which I chose.
  2. Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
  3. A wife is a sex object. You ask, she objects.
  4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying , "No hard feelings".
  5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless used together.
  6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
  7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try-Weekly, and Try Weakly.
  8. Virginity can be cured.
  9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
  10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
  11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialler were too small.
  12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A French kiss, but down under.
  14. Q: What are the biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks,job sucks, wife doesn't.
  15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts dont have eyes.
  16. Despite the old saying,'Dont take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives.
    1. There will be some hilarity here tomorrow!!


      No John, you've got it wrong. There will be some hilarity TODAY!

      When I promised not to publish this picture I was lying! I had my fingers crossed behind my back. . .


      20 comments:

      zoe said...

      I think N° 11 is very funny!

      john.g. said...

      Hiya Zoe!

      Dumdad said...

      No 11 is not funny, just very painful.....

      john.g. said...

      Dumdad, you have tried this?

      OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

      LOL, LOL....These are so funny and so clever! Great list, John.

      ChrisB said...

      Still funny second time around LOL

      Grumpy Keith said...

      This smacks of one of Zoe's jokes. I know she emails them to you. Tart!

      john.g. said...

      Grumps, you're dead, that wasn't from Zoe!

      zoe said...

      Keith, you lying piece of old grump - that wasn't one of mine. Mine are better - and as for that photo - you need to go on a photoshop course. Pffft.

      Grumpy Keith said...

      Careful Zoe, I do have several pictures of you in a compromising position with your hand up Quickos'. . . well, you know!

      john.g. said...

      Zoe, no they're not!

      Keith, you're toast!

      ChrisB said...

      I didn't see that picture earlier LOL

      Keli said...

      ROFLMAO, hey...where's your gun?

      #Debi said...

      Ooh, I do like a man in uniform...

      Sally said...

      You made me laugh anyway!

      © Karelian Blonde said...

      No 3, I agree *LOL*

      PI said...

      You boys are just incorrigible. Don't encourage them Zoe!

      Karmyn R said...

      Perfect timing Keith!!! very funny. Tomorrow I am actually posting a belated witty Wednesday.

      Guyana-Gyal said...

      hahaha but it's true, # 11 is funny.

      Okay John g, want me to mail you a water gun? They use 'em for a Hindu holiday here, Phagwah, so I might have to wait until that comes around.

      Guyana-Gyal said...
      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.