Back to normal.

What a scream i've had today!

For the sake of simplicity Australian voices are in capitals. (loud).

Dad dropped me off at the pub as usual. Horror! Six Aussies sat at my table. What to do? The landlord shrugged his shoulders.
"Excuse me guys, do you think i could move to this corner of the table, it makes things easier for me.
NO BLOODY WORRIES COBBER.

"Thanks a lot".
They were playing darts, badly. I put the cricket on.

CHRIST, NOW HERE'S A SPORT YOU POMS CANT PLAY.

Why did I put the cricket on?

YOU LOT WERE CRAP IN THE WORLD CUP.

"Yes".

They were a good lot, who, I discovered were over for a wedding. The landlords sister was marrying one of them.

They kept passing my beer to me when I needed a refill, and we had a good laugh.

The darts didn't improve, the alcohol consumption did! Dad arrived at 3pm and I got up, shook hands with them all.

"Two things i've learnt about you guys!"

WHAT'S THAT?

"You convicts cant play darts for shit!!"

"And you're a great laugh!".

PISS OFF YOU POMMIE BASTARD.

My bar bill? Nothing, the convicts bought the lot!!

A Sentimental post

I noticed the other day that my 100th post had been passed. Who'd of thought it, me finding 100 things to blog about!

As you all know, my life has had it's downs and downs over the past 7 years, what with my prang, and then Mum dying. What has kept me going is a manic sense of humour, my Dad (you are a star), my 'Sister',( Lindsay, I love you to bits), and above all YOU my bloggie friends. Without you lot my access to the outside world would have been lost.

You, my friends are MY WORLD, and long may it continue!!

Toodle pip . I love you all, and thank you.

Fun Monday

First attempt, bear with me.

I tried, I tried, I really did
But all the words, they went and hid
My mind is a ripple
Not too bad for a middle aged cripple
Don't feel sorry, don't feel bad
After all I still have my Dad
The one thing that is so sad is.........
I've got to buy Keith a pint and a cob tomorrow!

Favourites.

Trigger was a bit subdued this lunch, so no funnies. Instead a questionnaire.

Favourite things:

1: DRINK: Lager now, I used to drink bitter.

2: FOOD: Roast lamb, veg, onion sauce, fresh mint sauce with gravy.

3: FILM: Monty Python, The Life Of Brian.

4: BOOK: Jaws, read at an early age, I was spellbound. (Always had a fascination with sharks).

5: SPORT: Difficult, but has to be motocycle racing.

6:BLOGGER: No comment, you're all special. (How's that for diplomacy)?

7:MUSIC: Pink Floyd all the way!

8: BIRD: Zoe Osprey.

9: ANIMAL: Tiger.

10: HERO: There has to be two here. Nick Faldo and Barry Sheene.

I tag ..........All of you.

Crap Blogging Saturdays.

Having read all my bloggie friends this afternoon (after watching Man Utd get robbed), I have come to the conclusion that:

A: I am sad, as I have to stay in at night.

B: Some of you are dealing with family things.

C: ALL the Brussels mob are piss-heads, and are already in the pub.

I am soooo jealous!!

F.A. Cup Final.

ROBBED, ROBBED!! Giggs scored. POO!!

May blooms.

May, although cold is a lovely month.

Ladies, is this survey true? joke # 2

A recent survey found that a woman finds different male faces attractive depending on her cycle. For example. a woman ovulating likes a man with a rugged masculine look. When she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in petrol, set on fire, with scissors in his eyes, and a cricket stump up his ar*e.

Should I duck now? He he!

Joke Tuesday..double bill. #1

Firstly, may I apologise to Joules, this is not intentional.

IRISH PROSTITUTE.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have you been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, noy even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mum through?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....Dad.....I became a prostitute...

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"Ok, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this fur coat, title deeds to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for £5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for ye Daddy, the new Mercedes convertible in the drive.

"Now what did you say you'd become?" says Dad.

"Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute Dad! Sniff.

"Oh Be Jesus, I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

Madeleine MacCann

I'm not a parent, nor am I in the least bit religious, but this story has really tugged at something within me. I'm not going to turn religious either, but spare a thought for what the parents must be going through. The not knowing must be heart rending. How they seem to be coping is amazing.
May a happy ending come to them.