Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Joke Tuesday.

A young man called Keith wanted to buy his new girlfriend a Christmas present. As they hadn't been seeing each other for very long he decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too intimate, but yet thoughtful and considerate.

He went with his girlfriend's sister to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white fur lined gloves. Whilst in the ladies department the sister bought a pair of knickers at the same time.

During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items. The sister took away the gloves, and Keith got the knickers.

Without checking Keith sealed the package and sent it to his new girlfriend to arrive on her birthday. He wrote in the accompanying card the following:

Dear Sasha,

I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears shorter ones which are easier to remove. I appreciate that these are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all! I even had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a bit tight on her.

She also said that the pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean and shiny. In fact she hasn't needed to clean it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I get the chance.

When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love, Keith. xx

P.S The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing!

23 comments:

Sylv said...

FIRST!!!

ROFLAMO, I am shaking so hard with laughter i can hardly type, this defo making the rounds in switzerland now!

john.g. said...

Well done Sylv!!

Lehners in France said...

Brilliant!!!! Even more brilliant me thinks than her shiny ring after all of that polishing. Well done John. There's an award at mine for you. Debs x

john.g. said...

Aww, shucks Debs!

ChrisB said...

LOL very funny :) :)

zoe said...

Nice one John :)

Duck said...

Brilliant John. I love Tuesdays

john.g. said...

Duck, thank you!

Zoe, I hope you are ok.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Oh I wish this were a little movie and we could see the Girlfriends face when she opens her gift and reads his not! LOL!

About that Flower Stalk....I think it is probably 20 to 25 feet High....And now that those little finger-like things have done their thing...The Bees are gone again! I'm just glad I was lucky enough to catch these pictures while the Deliciousness was still there feedinf the Bees!
I didn't realize you have Yucca's in the UK.....I know they need very mild to HOT Weather...! We have lots and lots of them just growing wild on Hillsides, plus Special ones too! My Yucca Rostrata's(They grow in Texas), havew never Flowered, yet. I've had them for 22 years....

john.g. said...

Naomi, I will keep you informed!

Jayne said...

Absolutely BRILLIANT John!!!

little wanderer said...

LOL and I nearly forget it was Tuesday, keep them coming

Mr Farty said...

When, when, when will I learn not to drink tea while reading your blog? ROFL!

#Debi said...

That's just wrong...


:D

Keith said...

You taking the piss outta me, innit?

1st Lady said...

Dearie me!

mutleythedog said...

You daft great banana ....

Mickle in NZ said...

You're spoiling us - 2 funnies on consecutive days
Huggles

Brom said...

I don't get it!

john.g. said...

Keith, I changed the names to avoid being sued! The original name was John!

Brom, obviously!

Mickle, you're in trouble!

Mutley, thank you, I have been called many things, but never a banana!

First Lady, welcome to insanity, George will be at home!

Farty, It's been long enough now!

dubaibilly said...

ROFLMAO, in an internet cafe!

Thanks John.

DB

Keefieboy said...

Brilliant.

BarbaraS said...

That is the best joke I've seen in a long time! Lovely!