Joke Tuesday: Natal Curry Contest!

This is 20 times longer than my usual posts, but is soooooo funny it will,at some stage make you laugh out loud!

If you have lived in Natal, apparently you will know about this.
They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July.

Judge#3(Frank) was an inexperienced food critic visitng from America, and had been invited by the other two judges (Natal Indians), to join the panel. The food wouldn't be too spicy, and besides the lager was free.

Here are the scorecards:

CURRY#1-SEELANS MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge#1-A little too much tomato. amusing kick.
Judge#2-Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge#3(Frank)-Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove paint with that. Took two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

CURRY#2- PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN...
Judge#1-Smoky, with a hint of chilli. Slight tang.
Judge#2-Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs boosting.
Frank - Keep this away from children. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! More lager.

CURRY#3- SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge#1- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge#2- A bit salty. Good use of chilli.
Frank - Call 911. I've located uranium pills. My nose feels like I've been snorting drain cleaner. Get me some beer before I ignite! I'm getting pissed.

CURRY#4- LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge#1- Meaty, strong curry. Very impressive.
Judge#2- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Chilli peppers make a strong statement.
Frank - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off me, I cannot focus anymore. I farted and four people behind me needed medical treatment. It pisses me off as the other two judges tell me to stop screaming. Screw them. More beer.

CURRY#5- SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge#1- Mediocre.
Judge#2- Ho hum, tedious. (I should note that I am a little cocerned about Frank)
Frank - You could put a grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed from my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me!

Curry#6- NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLER...
Judge#1- The perfect end. Not too bold.
Judge#2- A good finale. Well balanced. Sorry most of it was lost when Frank farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot on top of himself. I don't think he'll make it. I wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot curry?
Frank- No report.