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- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
- Garden rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out easily, it is a valuable plant.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing a UFO anymore?
- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
- How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Who was it who first looked at a cow and said,"I'll just squeeze those dangly bits and drink whatever comes out?"
- Who was the first person to say,"See that chicken there? I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of it's butt."
- Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
- Do illiterate people get the full benefit of Alphabet soup?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
16 comments:
Great giggles again thanks, John. I particularly relate to the weed one (#2) but I like the cow and chicken ones. I suppose as animals pinch birds' eggs man was bound to give them a try too but whatever inspired humans to go for knicking a calf's 'bottle'?
Sandy, if it was good for the calf?
Oh man! No 6 speaks volumes :) How true is that!!! Turn on, tune in, drop out ;)
KB, somehow I knew you'd pick up on that!!
Excellent Ponderisms you clever clogs, there's something over at our gaff for ya x x
Nice indeed - but I often wondered about...
Apparently, the only way to get a rottweiler to release it's grip is to squeeze it's bollocks. I don't doubt that it works and have no desire to prove it but
you have to wonder what sort of weirdo discovered the fact
I've wondered a lot of these things myself!
Especially the whole Egg thing - why did ANYONE start eating anything?
Goth, it does make you wonder, what would you do if a girly rottweiler bit you?
Karmyn, err, to survive!!
Well the campfire one reminds me how I cheated (with a firelighter) in a wood to pass my camping badge...the other girls got caught with their firelighters and all failed...did I feel guilty...never!
13. Why does the beer at the "Merrie Monk" taste like Norwegian Weasel Piss?
Christ, I hope Di (Landlady) doesn't read your blog!
(_!_)
Would expect no less than these great insights from a Clever Clogs winner...well done!
Rx
So very true - but especially number 2.
number 10 has always baffled me.
13. Why does it rain when you leave the house without your umbrella?
LOL and how true they are too!
You cheered up my morning. I am laughing a lot!!!
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