Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Ten words, from Goth.

God sent the Archangel Gabriel to sort out a dispute kicking off in Egypt. The Pharoahs were playing hell about people raiding their pyramids.
"Look, Gabriel, tell them to stop f*cking about, and while you're down there tell Harrison Ford and his Dad to piss off. And tell that director bloke yawping into that loudspeaker, that if he doesn't shut the f*ck up, I'm going to sellotape his gob shut, noisy tw*t!"

"Gabriel, you haven't shut that loud speaker up yet, I can hear that arsehole Peter Kay singing 'show me the way to armadillo' Turn the f*cker off!"

The next day dawns bright and sunny, hot in fact. Gabriel is a bit pissed off because the chocolate he was given by god has melted, and just staring at the gloopy mass on the plate is making the saliva pour from his mouth.

Completely fed up, he picks up his trombone, and starts playing. No sound! Strange. On closer inspection, someone has covered the mouthpiece with latex.

He notices a strange smell after taking the rubbery latex off, but the trombone still wont play. Why has god put gorgonzola in the trombone?















Because he's a cheesy faggot!! Guess the 10 words!

41 comments:

Beccy said...

Lol, very good.

Here are my guesses at the words

Gabriel
pyramids
Ford
sellotape
armadillo
sunny
pissed
gloopy
gorgonzola
faggot

john.g. said...

4/10 Beccy!

Keith said...

Here's my guess:
a
the
and
but
on
off
in
out
to
that

Let's face it. He had to make it easy for you, or you wouldn't be able to do it!

I'll just get my coat .....

john.g. said...

BYE, BYE.

ChrisB said...

LOl very good: haven't a clue but here's my guess!
god
f******
loudspeaker
tw*t
armadillo
pissed
chocolate
gloopy
trombone
gorgonzola

john.g. said...

5/10 Chris, good effort

Mr Farty said...

I like Keith's guess, but I'll try...
pyramids
loudspeaker
sellotape
armadillo
chocolate
saliva
trombone
latex
gorgonzola
faggot

SpanishGoth said...

ROFLMA - good work fella. I think this could become the TAG from hell.

I did give you an 'out' in that I already had a story written but it was nowhere near as fucking funny as this one.

*bows and pours the Jack Daniels - 1 pint each*

Karmyn R said...

My guess:

Gabriel
Pharoahs
gorgonzola
loudspeaker
sellotape
armadillo
chocolate
saliva
trombone
latex

RUTH said...

LOL....this is funny John. I guess:
archangel
armadillo
trombone
latex
gorgonzola
faggot
sellotape
Egypt
loudspeaker
chocolate
Rx

Sally Lomax said...

I guess:

God, archangel, pyramids, pharoahs,aaliva,trombone, gorgonzola,Harison,Peter and armadillo.

Good post!

Sally Lomax said...

That's "saliva" btw!

Drama Queen said...

God
Pharoah
Harrison Ford
Sellotape
Peter Kay
Chocolate
Trombone
Latex
Gorgonzola
faggot

?

sablonneuse said...

Your site is full of ideas John-G. Here goes with my guesses:

archangel
Pharoahs
sellotape
armadillo
chocolate
plate
trombone
raiding
gorgonzola
rubbery

john.g. said...

Farty, 9/10. Who's a clever pooper then?

Goth, cheers, I'm going to send Yaxlich 10 to get him out of his torpor.

Karmyn, 8/10, well done!

Ruth, 8/10, also xx

Sally, 7/10, ok xx

DQ, 4/10. MTH xx

Sandy, 6/10, not bad.

Pontillius said...

No, sorry mate, haven't got a clue! I was going to say the same as Sally, but I can't think straight today, just had a row with her indoors!

Drama Queen said...

MTH?

Drama Queen said...

must try harder? DOH {slaps forehead}

john.g. said...

DQ, get a grip woman!!

zoe said...

pharoahs
loudspeaker
sellotape
gob
armadillo

gloopy
saliva
trombone
latex
gorgonzola

john.g. said...

Zoe, 8/10, close!xx

headless chicken said...

Ok John...sorry about the lie!
Is it...
pharoahs
gorgonzola
loudspeaker
sellotape
armadillo
chocolate
saliva
trombone
latex
faggot
:D
X

Sally Lomax said...

I reckon then that it's:

armadillo
saliva
Pyramids
gorgonzola
trombone
Pharoahs
loudspeaker
sellotape
chocolate
latex

which means, that assuming Mr Farty did get 9/10, you were overgenerous in your marking of mine and I got 6/10!
LOL!XX

Ariel said...

I just don't get it. At all. And that is despite having read Goth's blog. Am I that far removed from normal life than I cannot comprehend what it is about anymore?

Cailleach said...

I love it john-g - only you could come up with a punchline like that. I'm not going to guess what the 10 words were - I'm going to cheat instead :)

Beccy said...

So I was really bad then?

john.g. said...

Sally, close, 9/10! xx

HC, 8/10! xx

Ariel, I will explain!? xx

Cailleach, you might get one! xx

Beccy, YES! xx

PI said...

What Farty said:)

john.g. said...

Mum2, Tsk, Tsk!

Jon M said...

I think this should be published! Take felt tip into the gents next time and share the story with a wider public...

Sally Lomax said...

So then I think it must be:

loudspeaker
gorgonzola
sellotape
chocolate
trombone
latex
armadillo
pharoahs
faggot
pyramids

BTW I've missed you on the Sally blog!

john.g. said...

Sally, 8/10! You need Archangel and saliva! xx

ChrisB said...

ah well I can't win them all glad I just managed to beat beccy!!

john.g. said...

Chris, it wasn't hard!! lol.

headless chicken said...

lAST TRY 'COS OF COURSE I REALLY DON'T CARE!!!!:)
Pyramids
loudspeaker
sellotape
armadillo
chocolate
saliva
trombone
latex
gorgonzola
archangel

john.g. said...

10/10! AT LAST, WE HAVE A STAR!

Case closed! Well done HC! xx

meredic said...

nnngh zzz gah, huh wazzat...
*sleepy*
hey did something happen while I was out of it there?
WTF...
I still dont understand even with the answer there...

headless chicken said...

I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!!!
Yes I know it was easy to work out the more people who had a go but...
I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN
I WIN.....I am ace I am cool I am Headless and I rule!!!!!!!!:D I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!!

john.g. said...

Sarah, easy girl, you 10 words are heading your way!

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

Well looks like the headless chicken isn't running around like, er, a headless chicken anymore. I've done as you asked, but I've highlighted them in bold to make it easier for headless chicken to guess them! much fun - and gorgonzola in the trombone? Nice.

SpanishGoth said...

Kin hell. 41 comments after I posted this one. You're getting more popular than syphyllis