At the Pub

Keith here! Joan, my friend, and I went to the pub today to have a drink with John. I usually do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, depending on John's good nature and my lack of money.

Trigger isn't usually there, but he's on holiday from work this week, so we were blessed with his company today. Shortly after we arrived he came in and propped up the bar. Being a gent I introduced him to Joan and she whispered to me "I thought you said he was sailing a bit close to the wind!" (Local slang, means 'loopy') "He looks OK to me" she continued. I replied "Give it time...."

After his second or third pint of 'Norwegian Weasel Pee' (Pedigree beer) he remarked to Di, "The more I drink of this stuff, the prettier you get!".

WHAM! He wasn't quite quick enough to dodge that one!

Then Joan asked John how he was coping without cigarettes. "Fine" he replied, "No problem, the treatment worked perfectly, I don't crave at all now", Suddenly, Trigger got out his baccy-tin and proceeded to make a roll-up. "I wish you wouldn't talk about fags, now you made me go and want one", and with that he went outside to have a quick drag (smoke).

When he came back in and ordered another pint (obviously to make Di look even prettier), I was asking John if he had heard any more about his compensation money for the accident. I reminded John that one day; not too soon I hope, that he would probably have to rely on that money to pay someone to help look after him. He replied that it was just a matter of time before he got it, it was all cut and dried and he was just waiting on the solicitor now.

Trigger immediately leant forward, and patting John on the head, said "Don't you worry John, I'm always here to look after you! You'll be alright with me".

Luckily John was facing me at the time, otherwise Trigger would have seen the look of abject terror on Johns face! God, what a terrible fate!

Believe me, what John says about the things that go on in that pub are all true.

He just couldn't make it up.

Posted by Keith