Tuesday, 24 July 2007

At the Pub



Keith here! Joan, my friend, and I went to the pub today to have a drink with John. I usually do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, depending on John's good nature and my lack of money.

Trigger isn't usually there, but he's on holiday from work this week, so we were blessed with his company today. Shortly after we arrived he came in and propped up the bar. Being a gent I introduced him to Joan and she whispered to me "I thought you said he was sailing a bit close to the wind!" (Local slang, means 'loopy') "He looks OK to me" she continued. I replied "Give it time...."

After his second or third pint of 'Norwegian Weasel Pee' (Pedigree beer) he remarked to Di, "The more I drink of this stuff, the prettier you get!".

WHAM! He wasn't quite quick enough to dodge that one!

Then Joan asked John how he was coping without cigarettes. "Fine" he replied, "No problem, the treatment worked perfectly, I don't crave at all now", Suddenly, Trigger got out his baccy-tin and proceeded to make a roll-up. "I wish you wouldn't talk about fags, now you made me go and want one", and with that he went outside to have a quick drag (smoke).

When he came back in and ordered another pint (obviously to make Di look even prettier), I was asking John if he had heard any more about his compensation money for the accident. I reminded John that one day; not too soon I hope, that he would probably have to rely on that money to pay someone to help look after him. He replied that it was just a matter of time before he got it, it was all cut and dried and he was just waiting on the solicitor now.

Trigger immediately leant forward, and patting John on the head, said "Don't you worry John, I'm always here to look after you! You'll be alright with me".
Luckily John was facing me at the time, otherwise Trigger would have seen the look of abject terror on Johns face! God, what a terrible fate!

Believe me, what John says about the things that go on in that pub are all true.
He just couldn't make it up.
Posted by Keith

13 comments:

Karmyn R said...

GREAT! I want to come have a pint with you all. I think I would just sit and laugh all day long (and it would only take one beer too)

john.g. said...

Keith, well done mate!!

Karmyn, you'd be more than welcome in the Merrie Madhouse!

Keith said...

karmyn r - Everytime I try to get to your page my computer freezes! I think there must be a "gliche" somewhere. It doesn't happen on any other page.


With you I get a note from my kompewter saying "This page is not responding, shall I launch the missile at it now, or inform Microsoft first?" Joke! But it really does freeze up.

PI said...

Keith: mine does that at the moment and I have to unplug. Great account of a day in the pub. The nicest part of this last weekend was when we were just sitting round having a drink and chewing the fat. I thought it was ages since John had his accident?

john.g. said...

Mum2, it was over 7 years ago, no dosh yet though!

Jon M said...

Tell me he didn't pat you on the head...pleeeeese!

Keith said...

Jon m - No, Trigger didn't pat ME on the head. He did John though; John is very tall standing up, but when he's in his wheels he's just a midget! Sorry, dwarf!

Beccy said...

How did Joan refrain from belting him when he said she got prettier with each pint?

PI said...

That is APPALLING!

Shaz said...

OMG! I have to visit this pub! & I promise no head patting!!! Too funny x x

Keith said...

Beccy - You're not concentrating are you? Read the third paragraph again. It was Di he said it to.

Go to the back of the class and write out 100 times "I must pay attention to what Keithy writes", then see me at playtime!

Drama Queen said...

Too god. Nice to know John is in safe(!) hands. . .

sablonneuse said...

I see, now that you've gone over to French on your own blog you're carrying on the English version via John g.